What is this black money? And how are we supposed to raise it? by Puneet Rajhans

What is this black money? And how are we supposed to raise it?

As the Finance Minister-turned-Prime Minister Manmohan Singh chaired the first Cabinet meet after the much desired shuffle which was no less than a bubble, he gave the opportunity to the elevated, demoted and yet to be shunted members to speak their mind on the shuffle he undertook in the third week of the first month of 2011. No one spoke much fearing the irreparable shuffle the cabinet is to witness post budget session. THey all reposed their faith in the Prime Minister for letting them continue despite most of them performing comprehensively well at home and not in office. Some even thanked Mr Singh who had ceased to be KIng ever since Akshay the lead star delivered a string of flops post Singh Is King belter.
What the Cabinet discussed at length was the mood of the nation effectively captured by the Outlook survey (outperforming others as far as clinical details of the survey went) on One Night Band Baja Bell that has been the mainstay of people irrespective of class creed and colour. Members who had been almost told to demit office but were prevented from their home wallahs from sending their letter of resignation and Mr Singh expressing his inability to accept the same from those who had already sent the same lest it creates an upheaval in their home front eventually leading to their twin exit from the ministry and home. This twin exit that Singh could ill afford given the Opposition's repeated attempt to rock the treasury boat. The ripple effect would be too severe was Mr Singh's enduring logic to not act on letters of sacrifice furnished by members of his tribe.

Well discotheques, event parties and other more than familiar gatherings were accepted as points where one night band baja discourse flourished, the members were in strong disapproval of massage joints taking a low ranking given the noble service they have been providing to the disheartened lot who intrude as and when the desire erupts. Mr Singh was all ears to this discourse on one night band baja survey and having heard some enlightened souls shed their vital inputs was keen to know the factors (not presumptive by any scale) that propelled this industry to thrive. With no answers in sight, Mr Singh broached the subject of black money and established the all-weather link.
Mr Singh said:" Illustrious are the careers of those who have thrived on black money which has failed to date to be any kissing close to white and the extraordinary efforts they have put in to build their empire of strength and confidence. My concern is not at the black money that has been translocated to different continents in the past. WE need to understand and acknowledge the painstaking efforts that went into raising of this wealth (procured during the night when all white operations cease to exit and black operations begin to swell) and the undeniable endeavour to keep it away from prying eyes. THough the colour of the money is not entirely black, the notes in any denomination have a black tinge to differentiate it from the other money that is unfortunately white and procured through labour put during the day."
" I am not here to give a discourse on how to differentiate the black from the white; my overwhelming concern is the moment this undetected booty gets declared and is in the public realm the shock therapy that would be mandatory for an entire group whose numbers have swelled proportionate to the strength of the booty. THis disclosure of their wealth and the names would have a spiraling effect as all operations that they undertook in the name of raising the numbers in their family- repulsive to birth control pills - and hence supporting them would cease to exist. All bashes thrown in the five star-cum-farmhouses would cease and so would cease the movement of personal transport on roads. THe sale of vehicles would fall to an all time low and and low would be the accretion to the govt kitty with a severe fall in the sale of fuel. THe big deals in real estate claimed to have been done by so-called seths would see a cessation with a multiplier effect. THe all-weather recruitment of people assigned with the unimaginable task of stalking and tailing would lose its momentum and so would the intent to tap the landlines of others. STalking, tailing,tapping and intruding operations would see a clear and present danger.
THe Airlines industry would be hit hard and so would be the recruitment to the hospitality sector. All sectors stand to lose once the information is out in the public domain on who all have built their empire and the period from when they wholeheartedly dedicated themselves to this noble endeavour.
I, for one, won't like this information to flow with ease and given my pet theme of the economy keeping its tryst with 9 per cent growth rate a sustaining reality this mammoth piece of information built against the backdrop of support extended by mammoth leadership can't be allowed to be frittered away as it would amount to mocking at the most happening invisible sector seeing its inevitable premature greying.
Let the standoff in Parliament on this repeated attempt to walk into the privacy of prized citizens be the order of the day. THis issue of privacy involving our very own private citizens can't be put to public scrutiny as it is inclusive of their private labour and private love similar to the inclusive growth we are seeking. Some members of the Cabinet failed to get the message across. After a meal break the Cabinet again met. AND Mr Singh Was upfront.
"Parliamentary polls have been seeing a sizeable drop of those who cast their vote. THrough this cabinet meet i want to send a message to these prized private citizens to come out and vote as we have moved heaven and earth to secure their privacy as far as private prized wealth stored in private havens are concerned. And the members dispersed with the belief that this Singh had played a masterstroke by eliciting the private class to vote for the establishment that rooted for their privacy. Perhaps that could provide opportunity for UPA 3 to take wings if for unforeseen and unaccounted wealth the UPA 2 falters.
Later the members dispersed with the majority making enquiries about any other weekly publication coming with its set of results on one night band baja bell. Informative sources have informed them that seeing the faith the Singh Cabinet has reposed in these private citizens and making it impossible for others to breach their fence, it was mandatory for these private groups to launch another weekly publication that would shed interesting light on one night band baja bell. Perhaps the assimilation and excretion list would be exhaustive.

As for the money that could never be white the aam admi had his take: "Given the times we live in and the challenging situations we confront black is the order of the day as the activities most pursue in the dead of night are acts that store the possibility of being beaten blue and black. Perhaps once the information flows out on the money and its inheritors the black nature of their demands would be out in the open with most denied the invincibility weapon.
As for those looking for a break in the black money profession and learn the tricks of the trade, their hopes rest on how far they desist the aura of anything that is white and sacred.