Of billboards and networking sites
On the way to Nagercoil there is the tsunami of billboards and welcome arches depicting the dedication of DMK patriarch Karunanidhi and his rich band of supporters to the ideology of C Annadurai. Well these billboards and welcome arches have pictures of Karunanidhi, sons Stalin and Alagiri, daughter Kanimozhi and other big time personalities of the DMK parivar. These billboards spell out the designs of the friends of DMK fraternity to what they intend to do for their followers and what they intend to push for to see their arch rivals out of frame and mind.
C Annadurai being the tallest leader of the Dravidian movement, the ADMK led by Jayalalitha also had her share of billboards on a scale and quantum less than DMK. Quite natural given the four-and-a-half year stint away from office. As these boards and arches take the public space and swipe at those who intend to take the credit for Anna's ideology, it doesn't stop the Amma from blasting the DMK regime for pursuing an agenda that would have never been close to Anna's heart. First point of hostility hints at all the big corruption practices that have come up in the recent past having imprints of ruling regime with ADMK workers yet to get a frail association with these range of activities. "In the past five years, the sand and granite quarrying has largely been done by DMK functionaries and liquor vends ably maintained by them with no worker of my party even being allowed to get to the kissing distance of such acts of high value transactions," Amma maintained.
"Second the party should be treated as a family and this what Anna stood for; yet the DMK honcho has promoted members of his family to different posts and positioning thereby letting corruption run deep in the family with no outsider getting a hint of the ongoings."
As she vowed for the umpteenth time to dislodge the DMK govt, Alagiri quite buoyed by the opening of the new terminal at Madurai Airport and exchanges that followed later declared that the DMK combine would wrap up all the 234 seats in the ensuing elections. What he aimed to suggest was that none of the seats would see a contest, come what may. Intimidating tactics would be employed in a way that the liquor vends that have come up during his party's regime would be fully utilised with liquor flowing uninterrupted for all those supporters who would make it a life and death issue for opponents who ever willed to contest. Most of the 234 seats that DMK and ita alliance partners would run for would have unopposed election, with results known even before polls having taken place. His ruling on 234 seats is much more than the combined strength of all pre poll,post poll and high and low poll surveys that these seats would be subjected to. In effect, he has made the poll surveys infructuous by his unforeseen and untamed ruling. Thus for all the liquor vends and their promoters positioning as candidates of the ruling block could well see a unilateral contest, given the pronouncements from the headquarters.
To fortify his resolve, the men and machine at his disposal would deliver enough cash and threat between now and poll announcement dates to see to it that the prospective opposition candidates maintain a fair distance between their party's diktat and their ability to contest. The cash delivered at home would be enough to put their parties to shame and threats intimidating to the extent of entire family ceasing to exist.
As billboards hogged the limelight this time round, similar billboards would be placed at the vantage points of the state districts spelling out the price to be paid for the decision to contest and the cash rewards to be won if indoor outing has been preferred.
As these permutations and combinations on threats and counter threats were being worked out, Amma decided to retire at her place of residence with the belief that the Lok Sabha polls would precede the Assembly polls given the aversion of the Centre to the liquor lobbies of the State. The Centre has its own preferrred team of liquor lobbies; it strongly resents the fly by night liquor vendors of the State, who have appeared from nowhere in the past five years. Since Alagiri isn't comfortable in Hindi and English, the Centre has decided to dispatch an all party Tamil team to underscore the series of threats that the Centre can invoke in case the liquor vends are not reined in. To begin with, the Madurai airport could well see a freeze in its activities even before it has had its full-fledged operations, with the Centre suggesting that there is a foreign threat to dismantle the new structure.
This would be followed by closure of all big and small airports in the State. Once this happens Alagiri and company may well have to cool their heels in the State given the unscheduled delays the trains entering and exiting the State would be subjected to.
Once access to Delhi becomes next to nil, the Lower House could well pass a resolution suggesting that Alagiri has ceased to be a member of the House given his decision to stay away from the House to an undisclosed destination for an unspecified period. Following this there would be withdrawal of support to the Central Government and announcement of fresh polls which the Election Commission would dare to precede the TN Assembly polls faulting the tantrums of the state leaders for this untimely demise of the current Lok Sabha. With this the liquor vends of the State may well cease to exist and Madurai airport getting a new lease of life.
As these permutations and combinations were being discussed by Amma and her supporters who had all put on the reading glasses to have a clarity of view, she suggested that this time round ticket would be given on a priority basis to those with large followers in the sea-saw battlebook networking site. "They at least need to have 168-odd followers (each follower bringing truckload of followers whose name in the electoral list need not be mandatory given the poll machinery we have at our disposal this time)in the sea-saw battlebook, with each prospective candidate putting on the glasses to last through the polls. No blurred vision would do, " she maintained.
As they discussed and parted ways, she had a new visitor at her office. Failing to recognise him, the man introduced himself as Alagiri. Once he put on the glasses, Amma was able to place him. Alagiri pleaded his case before the all mighty Amma. "Madam, with the glases that i wore all these years i could not see through the designs of members of my extended family. Pa and Stalin have reached an agreement. As per the wishes of the High Command at home, Stalin would take over from Pa once polls get over. This understanding they reached following my unprovoked ruling that DMK combine would sweep all 234 seats with none left for the opponents. Thus the combined onslaught of Pa and Stalin is enough to send me to pack my bags. I have a humble suggestion to make. Take me on board as ordinary member of the party and few years down the line all your opponents would be biting the dust. "
Amma insisted that Alagiri should put on the glasses. He submitted that once polls are over he would do that. Amma was quite keen to figure out the High Command at DMK's place. "I couldn't figure out myself given the glases that i was wearing all these years. The High Command keeps changing season after season given the political equations at home." Amma insisted that Alagiri should register himself for the sea-saw battlebook site that gives you new friends and new ideas to live with. Amma coaxed him to sign for the site and see to it that followers cross at least 168 in the first month. "Not impossible. i have enough support in the liquor-cum-business trade and they would oblige me." At this point the two parted ways with Amma finally on line with the Janpath Ma on the changing equations in the first political family in the State.
P.S. This piece is not meant to offend anyone. This is out and out spoof.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Corruption slide: The side effects by Puneet Rajhans
Corruption slide: The side effects
India ranks 84 of the 180- odd countries in corruption perception index. That is a perception and not a reality. If we continue to persist with this perception that India would slide further and hit the three digit mark i.e. 100 and below that would precisely mean that the perception has pursued for long. The 100-and-below rank would see a large number of corruption cruising community to be enslaved with a grit determination that this slide continues with no interruptions. Would this slide mean that the different forms of commute and coexistence that we seek would see us confront the more brazen dispenser of faith and freedom cut us to size by getting a big share of our meagre income or the income which most of us even don't possess. Or the house layout or the different extensions we seek would see the existence of sleight of hand (municipalitywallah) resulting in a large cash outlay to these elements than anticipated.
It is the corruption and the perception that tails it makes the middle class guy who has been in the thick of the job market to do away with these adventures (as no amount of increments that he seeks and registers during his career fortified days would be sufficient to meet the demands of the extended family that is growing in shape and size) and thus seek an outing in the Himalayas.Or the guy yet to get to the job market may well tilt the perception of his parents by dumping the education stress he has piled on. By declaring his intent one fine morning that he is prepared to multitask all the chores of home and extended family as he wants to preserve the precious earnings of his parents.
Corruption hails from dawn to dusk with some settling for transactions beyond midnight hours as that is the prefered mahurat.
If you are at home for a considerable period lasting beyond seasonal flu and viruses, then chances are that there would be visits from electricity, waterwallah and all other such blokes who would impress upon you the metre is faulty or running much below the demands of the bosses in their departments and you need to replace them failing which the cash exchange is the sole route to salvation. Having done that, the day in day out tryst with the outside world would ensure the unchecked/untamed visits of loan dispenser at different life-geared spots (office, cafes, bus shelter, local train halts and airport guest centres) who would cast aspersions on you for not having tried loans of any shape and size to date. Coaxing and goading done, they would enslave you as loan taker with the promise to settle it ASAP. But this loan lust could well see you go past eternity to settle the claims and counter claims. As loan sharks abound in abundance, the corruption coasts to success.
The politico-cum-business-cum journo axis of indulgences does give corruption a new leverage. But that is reserved for those dispensing BIG notes, travelling business class and mating business lasses in business condominiums. Even for past,present and prospective journos, who latch on to a business jaunt to get the hospitality boost, the business commitments and exchanges last for unprobed and unspecified period .
To rest the corruption and perception debate, let's have one day of the 365 metamorphosed outings where we observe Big Beaming No No Corruption Day. Precisely on this day no calls on corruption would be entertained, no business visits allowed and no one would be stepping out to indulge in any form of transactions. All goods and services would have barter boast thus battering the nature of corruption and perception that tails it.
All for 24 hrs, this could well have a seasonal repeat thereby putting an unseasonal end to the taunt that honesty is nothing but the histrionics of the aam admi. Three cheers for this histrionic than the hustle and bustle of the business honcho who has the business-delivered journo and journo turned politico on his corruption cruise. If his site has been played with or his conversation fiddled with he is the first to tamper the rules of the trade. He gets the place of prominence by babbling about his endless acquisitions and propositions.
After all babbling about corruption and hoping for its longevity is the task the govt of the day is saddled with, given the multitasking operations have been taken over by sea pirates, the ever-evolving den for fly by night honchos.
India ranks 84 of the 180- odd countries in corruption perception index. That is a perception and not a reality. If we continue to persist with this perception that India would slide further and hit the three digit mark i.e. 100 and below that would precisely mean that the perception has pursued for long. The 100-and-below rank would see a large number of corruption cruising community to be enslaved with a grit determination that this slide continues with no interruptions. Would this slide mean that the different forms of commute and coexistence that we seek would see us confront the more brazen dispenser of faith and freedom cut us to size by getting a big share of our meagre income or the income which most of us even don't possess. Or the house layout or the different extensions we seek would see the existence of sleight of hand (municipalitywallah) resulting in a large cash outlay to these elements than anticipated.
It is the corruption and the perception that tails it makes the middle class guy who has been in the thick of the job market to do away with these adventures (as no amount of increments that he seeks and registers during his career fortified days would be sufficient to meet the demands of the extended family that is growing in shape and size) and thus seek an outing in the Himalayas.Or the guy yet to get to the job market may well tilt the perception of his parents by dumping the education stress he has piled on. By declaring his intent one fine morning that he is prepared to multitask all the chores of home and extended family as he wants to preserve the precious earnings of his parents.
Corruption hails from dawn to dusk with some settling for transactions beyond midnight hours as that is the prefered mahurat.
If you are at home for a considerable period lasting beyond seasonal flu and viruses, then chances are that there would be visits from electricity, waterwallah and all other such blokes who would impress upon you the metre is faulty or running much below the demands of the bosses in their departments and you need to replace them failing which the cash exchange is the sole route to salvation. Having done that, the day in day out tryst with the outside world would ensure the unchecked/untamed visits of loan dispenser at different life-geared spots (office, cafes, bus shelter, local train halts and airport guest centres) who would cast aspersions on you for not having tried loans of any shape and size to date. Coaxing and goading done, they would enslave you as loan taker with the promise to settle it ASAP. But this loan lust could well see you go past eternity to settle the claims and counter claims. As loan sharks abound in abundance, the corruption coasts to success.
The politico-cum-business-cum journo axis of indulgences does give corruption a new leverage. But that is reserved for those dispensing BIG notes, travelling business class and mating business lasses in business condominiums. Even for past,present and prospective journos, who latch on to a business jaunt to get the hospitality boost, the business commitments and exchanges last for unprobed and unspecified period .
To rest the corruption and perception debate, let's have one day of the 365 metamorphosed outings where we observe Big Beaming No No Corruption Day. Precisely on this day no calls on corruption would be entertained, no business visits allowed and no one would be stepping out to indulge in any form of transactions. All goods and services would have barter boast thus battering the nature of corruption and perception that tails it.
All for 24 hrs, this could well have a seasonal repeat thereby putting an unseasonal end to the taunt that honesty is nothing but the histrionics of the aam admi. Three cheers for this histrionic than the hustle and bustle of the business honcho who has the business-delivered journo and journo turned politico on his corruption cruise. If his site has been played with or his conversation fiddled with he is the first to tamper the rules of the trade. He gets the place of prominence by babbling about his endless acquisitions and propositions.
After all babbling about corruption and hoping for its longevity is the task the govt of the day is saddled with, given the multitasking operations have been taken over by sea pirates, the ever-evolving den for fly by night honchos.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Of Dhanuskodi and the long battle ahead by Puneet Rajhans
Of Dhanuskodi and the long battle ahead
AS the bus progressed towards Dhanuskodi,16 kms from RMM, i came across big billboards of marriage functions. Featuring couple, they also had pictures of invitees to the function. Probably they don't hand out wedding cards and the limited billboards at vantage points of the city serves their purpose. The bus wasn't choc-a-bloc. But the crowd interesting mix of young,old and very old. The one sitting ahead of me has had this drinking session some time back. The moment a woman who could not trace any other vacant seat sat next to him, he began to give her some therapy lessons. Both in their late 50s. He was more vocal and she an avid listener. The conversation between the two seems to suggest that they were enjoying every moment of the words spoken, glances exchanged and chemistry established. When the therapy lessons ranging from control over mind and desire to sexual compatibility in places of partnership and growth became less therapeutic and more traumatic the lady brought a premature end to her travails by abandoning the bus. The parting shot from her" my man at home gives me similar lessons. You outsider, you don't even stand an outside chance."
The man slighted he too abandons the bus at the next stop, a good 10 kms before he is supposed to get down. Probably the reading among the commuting public was he would try to reach out to the lady at her place of residence and hand out all lessons on wisdom and voyage even though they are past their prime.
When the bus finally halted at Munram Chatiram, Dhanuskodi was a good six kms away. The ramshackle vehicle i boarded, deboarded and finally boarded was the one that hadn't had service for ages and the the driver not replaced for decades. A close resemblance to the one that ferries petty thieves to the court. THe group that was headed for Dhanuskodi agreed to take me after i grudgingly agreed to the fare that looked to be too steep. The vehicle passed through a lot of slush and it took over 40 mins to reach Dhanuskodi. Here there were remnants of a church, railway statio, school and a Shiva temple which were razed to the ground in the cyclone of 1964. No effort had been made to restore the place; and probably none would come in future as well. If that tipsy man on the bus wasn't enough there was this Bong from a different world. Though he had just a lady in company he seemed to speak for the entire group ; for all those who would be boarding the bus and who all need to be left out. At Dhanuskodi he demanded that he would prefer to be washed away to reach Ram Setu if theren't any boats in sight.The Tamil guy thundered: "No sirrrrr, no one can go to Ram Setu. The boats are not there and washing away is highly objectionable."
Hailing from a state, sandwiched bt difficult states of BHAR and JKHND, the man persisted with his desire. Even the likes of Karunanidhi, Maran, Raja, Jaya haven't dared to visit Ram Setu. And he wants this fundamental right of his to be restored.
It was late in the evening and and with no lighting it was better to retreat than progress further. As i reached Munram Chatiram and waited for the govt bus for RMM as the group had already left by a private vehicle, i wondered whether my govt bus was any less than the private one. Because when the Bong heard that i would be taking a govt bus, he had probably sensed my status and vowed to keep ordinary mortals like me from the tribe that is destined to go to Ram Setu at some point of time. That would probably be 2060 when all ordinary mortals like us would have disappeared and there would be a handful of feudal mindset entities from the Sandwiched State to rule the roost.
As for the guy who couldn't go to Ram Setu the government is scared of the fact that if such guys begin to have an outing then it would bring out in the open to what the authorities want to pursue. Word of mouth by a Bong is enough to unseat the government and unwrap the 'fishing' episodes underway.
i reached RMM late in the evening and after meals hit the bed. The best part being for seven consecutive days there has been no TV and no histrionics. i would root for that.
AS the bus progressed towards Dhanuskodi,16 kms from RMM, i came across big billboards of marriage functions. Featuring couple, they also had pictures of invitees to the function. Probably they don't hand out wedding cards and the limited billboards at vantage points of the city serves their purpose. The bus wasn't choc-a-bloc. But the crowd interesting mix of young,old and very old. The one sitting ahead of me has had this drinking session some time back. The moment a woman who could not trace any other vacant seat sat next to him, he began to give her some therapy lessons. Both in their late 50s. He was more vocal and she an avid listener. The conversation between the two seems to suggest that they were enjoying every moment of the words spoken, glances exchanged and chemistry established. When the therapy lessons ranging from control over mind and desire to sexual compatibility in places of partnership and growth became less therapeutic and more traumatic the lady brought a premature end to her travails by abandoning the bus. The parting shot from her" my man at home gives me similar lessons. You outsider, you don't even stand an outside chance."
The man slighted he too abandons the bus at the next stop, a good 10 kms before he is supposed to get down. Probably the reading among the commuting public was he would try to reach out to the lady at her place of residence and hand out all lessons on wisdom and voyage even though they are past their prime.
When the bus finally halted at Munram Chatiram, Dhanuskodi was a good six kms away. The ramshackle vehicle i boarded, deboarded and finally boarded was the one that hadn't had service for ages and the the driver not replaced for decades. A close resemblance to the one that ferries petty thieves to the court. THe group that was headed for Dhanuskodi agreed to take me after i grudgingly agreed to the fare that looked to be too steep. The vehicle passed through a lot of slush and it took over 40 mins to reach Dhanuskodi. Here there were remnants of a church, railway statio, school and a Shiva temple which were razed to the ground in the cyclone of 1964. No effort had been made to restore the place; and probably none would come in future as well. If that tipsy man on the bus wasn't enough there was this Bong from a different world. Though he had just a lady in company he seemed to speak for the entire group ; for all those who would be boarding the bus and who all need to be left out. At Dhanuskodi he demanded that he would prefer to be washed away to reach Ram Setu if theren't any boats in sight.The Tamil guy thundered: "No sirrrrr, no one can go to Ram Setu. The boats are not there and washing away is highly objectionable."
Hailing from a state, sandwiched bt difficult states of BHAR and JKHND, the man persisted with his desire. Even the likes of Karunanidhi, Maran, Raja, Jaya haven't dared to visit Ram Setu. And he wants this fundamental right of his to be restored.
It was late in the evening and and with no lighting it was better to retreat than progress further. As i reached Munram Chatiram and waited for the govt bus for RMM as the group had already left by a private vehicle, i wondered whether my govt bus was any less than the private one. Because when the Bong heard that i would be taking a govt bus, he had probably sensed my status and vowed to keep ordinary mortals like me from the tribe that is destined to go to Ram Setu at some point of time. That would probably be 2060 when all ordinary mortals like us would have disappeared and there would be a handful of feudal mindset entities from the Sandwiched State to rule the roost.
As for the guy who couldn't go to Ram Setu the government is scared of the fact that if such guys begin to have an outing then it would bring out in the open to what the authorities want to pursue. Word of mouth by a Bong is enough to unseat the government and unwrap the 'fishing' episodes underway.
i reached RMM late in the evening and after meals hit the bed. The best part being for seven consecutive days there has been no TV and no histrionics. i would root for that.
Obama ke options by Puneet Rajhans
Obama ke options
Three weeks ago Obama had this to say. "The US won't settle for a second place when India and China are racing ahead." But is there a vacancy at the top? Not in the near future. It may come 15-20 years down the line. But why raise the spectacle of something that is years and years away. THe intent behind Obamaspeak was to let the underdog have a chance than China and India. Apparently miffed at China getting all the good reviews and palatable nod, the US wants to earn its place of prominence.
Who this underdog could be. On Obama's radar are nation states caught in the vortex of violence and within them few areas willing to branch out. Could it be some from the 12 Commonwealth of Independent States that sprung up from Russia. Could it be a breakaway Chechnya, a unified Kashmir (India Administered Kashmir and Pakistan Occupied Kashmir). Or any nation state away from radar but willing to play spoilsport to the chances of India, China displacing US. A Tibet here or a Taiwan there or even the prospective nation states that are in the kissing distance of being realised ("my men, freedom is round the corner" is the line they continuously take). THe US can't settle to a prospect where China feasts at Washington's prominent slide from one territory after another.
As for Obama's over the counter work managers they have handed a script to Bollywood to churn out stuff for the next 10-15 years which plays up the US dream and punctures the China's optimism as a misplaced one. It would endlessly aim at US the entity to watch out for. All season concessions would be given to producers to shoot at locales that even US producers haven't discovered and all movies would be with subtitles in Hindi and Mandarin. Here his managers are in constant touch with the biggies of Hindi and Southern Cinemas who have belted out hits after hits. Besides the Hollywood would be kept in the loop and collaboration taken as and when the need be.
THe US administration and the ones to follow later would be playing up all those forces that can dismantle the chances of China (China is the immediate threat after it displaced Japan as the second largest economy) to take the first place. An Afghanistan or Iraq (fence sitters and violence torn) could be considered. A quid pro quo could be that we would give you the opportunity to be the BIG PLAYERS (Economy and Military) provided you shun violence. So why not shift the gaze to a piece of territory that has been sandwiched between two Asian Giants and yet to realise its potential. After all this territory has thrown up surprises after surprises for decades. So for all the deals and dates with the military junta, the US could well settle for Pakistan to take the front seat given the level of engagement it has had with the US.
The US has already set in motion the process to let Pakistan deserve the hints of prosperity. New Delhi willing to deal with Islamabad was the first piece of action in that foray. Second, the US would cleverly aim to ratch up international opinion to give a permanent seat to Pakistan in UNSC given its geographical import and how it could scale down the level of violence not just in Afghanistan but also the resentment in the Islam World against the WEST. Along with this the different international bodies would be working in close concert to see that sporting events like ASIAN Games, Commonwealth Games are held in Pakistan. As for OLYMPICS, there is a fair degree of understanding that the OLYMPICS THAT China had probably pole vaulted it to dream about being No 1. No such Olympic outing for an Asian country as it stores the possibility for them to thing BIG. But rules would be relaxed for all-weather friend Pakistan. After all when close to 18 per cent residents in the US believe that Obama is a Muslim and his flip flop on Mosque in New York Trade Centre has finally led to his approval to the project so why not prop up Pak that Russia is also fond of.
AS these permutations and combinations were being discussed, Obama received a call from Secy of State. "Mr President, there is another coup in Pakistan and this time China is backing them." And Obama was upfront: "Ladies and Genleman, i told you this nation is a bowl of surprises. We need to keep engaging them."
As for India, he had this to add: "Same old Democracy and same old elections.The excitement quotient is missing. India could be considered if it could stage some surprises in the Middle Kingdom."
Three weeks ago Obama had this to say. "The US won't settle for a second place when India and China are racing ahead." But is there a vacancy at the top? Not in the near future. It may come 15-20 years down the line. But why raise the spectacle of something that is years and years away. THe intent behind Obamaspeak was to let the underdog have a chance than China and India. Apparently miffed at China getting all the good reviews and palatable nod, the US wants to earn its place of prominence.
Who this underdog could be. On Obama's radar are nation states caught in the vortex of violence and within them few areas willing to branch out. Could it be some from the 12 Commonwealth of Independent States that sprung up from Russia. Could it be a breakaway Chechnya, a unified Kashmir (India Administered Kashmir and Pakistan Occupied Kashmir). Or any nation state away from radar but willing to play spoilsport to the chances of India, China displacing US. A Tibet here or a Taiwan there or even the prospective nation states that are in the kissing distance of being realised ("my men, freedom is round the corner" is the line they continuously take). THe US can't settle to a prospect where China feasts at Washington's prominent slide from one territory after another.
As for Obama's over the counter work managers they have handed a script to Bollywood to churn out stuff for the next 10-15 years which plays up the US dream and punctures the China's optimism as a misplaced one. It would endlessly aim at US the entity to watch out for. All season concessions would be given to producers to shoot at locales that even US producers haven't discovered and all movies would be with subtitles in Hindi and Mandarin. Here his managers are in constant touch with the biggies of Hindi and Southern Cinemas who have belted out hits after hits. Besides the Hollywood would be kept in the loop and collaboration taken as and when the need be.
THe US administration and the ones to follow later would be playing up all those forces that can dismantle the chances of China (China is the immediate threat after it displaced Japan as the second largest economy) to take the first place. An Afghanistan or Iraq (fence sitters and violence torn) could be considered. A quid pro quo could be that we would give you the opportunity to be the BIG PLAYERS (Economy and Military) provided you shun violence. So why not shift the gaze to a piece of territory that has been sandwiched between two Asian Giants and yet to realise its potential. After all this territory has thrown up surprises after surprises for decades. So for all the deals and dates with the military junta, the US could well settle for Pakistan to take the front seat given the level of engagement it has had with the US.
The US has already set in motion the process to let Pakistan deserve the hints of prosperity. New Delhi willing to deal with Islamabad was the first piece of action in that foray. Second, the US would cleverly aim to ratch up international opinion to give a permanent seat to Pakistan in UNSC given its geographical import and how it could scale down the level of violence not just in Afghanistan but also the resentment in the Islam World against the WEST. Along with this the different international bodies would be working in close concert to see that sporting events like ASIAN Games, Commonwealth Games are held in Pakistan. As for OLYMPICS, there is a fair degree of understanding that the OLYMPICS THAT China had probably pole vaulted it to dream about being No 1. No such Olympic outing for an Asian country as it stores the possibility for them to thing BIG. But rules would be relaxed for all-weather friend Pakistan. After all when close to 18 per cent residents in the US believe that Obama is a Muslim and his flip flop on Mosque in New York Trade Centre has finally led to his approval to the project so why not prop up Pak that Russia is also fond of.
AS these permutations and combinations were being discussed, Obama received a call from Secy of State. "Mr President, there is another coup in Pakistan and this time China is backing them." And Obama was upfront: "Ladies and Genleman, i told you this nation is a bowl of surprises. We need to keep engaging them."
As for India, he had this to add: "Same old Democracy and same old elections.The excitement quotient is missing. India could be considered if it could stage some surprises in the Middle Kingdom."
Strap or ship out by Puneet Rajhans
Strap or ship out
As i am told to wait for my turn at the 4th floor of AIIMS for suspected dengue, i am swayed by a board hanging to a wall that simply won't let you wash dirty linen in public. My gaze is fixed to the eight steps to wash and rub hands and how it could be done with clinical precision. High on its content are interfaced, interlocked, palms, dorsum and fingers, enough to let you think you were clever enough to sidestep them for years together. I am trying to memorise those steps as the sister walks past me now and then. She brings a new patient every time the other one goes inside for clinical interrogation. The last lap of this rigmarole has not been discovered yet. As moments pass, i vacate the chair every time an elderly walks in. How elderly he or she is or the frail looks just meant to get the seat they aspire for during a wait that could turn minutes into hrs. A young girl comes in and sits next to me; her gaze fixed towards mine and mine towards the eight-step board. I can't let anyone cry foul that this lad had enough time to memorise those eight steps and yet he gave it a miss. It is more than one hr and all those who came before and after me have had their interrogation sessions with the doc. Probably the doc inside wants to carry out a more detailed investigation on me. So he is looking for that extra time when chips are down and patients are none. THen i see a man sporting a strap round his neck with a cell in his front pocket. The strap has AIIMS written all over it. i ask the same familiar question of him being from AIIMS. THe man is in no mood to oblige and my gaze again turns towards the board. Why he was not obliging? Perhaps he had better things to do than gaze at the board and learn and unlearn the steps to wash and rub hands.
Probably by now others who are keeping a watch on me are of the view that i would have rehearsed the board lines so well that it would be at the back of my mind. But now my focus shifts to other straps doing the rounds of the city, having spotted the AIIMS one. If this guy could have the AIIMS strap, there could be one inscribed with Delhi police enough to send shivers down the spine of city residents. A strap proclaiming the Police of India would be feared by the place he/she visits. Perhaps a strap on Tihar Jail would be equally feared.
THese straps give them enough power to strip anyone in full public glare . What could stop them in their tracks could be the spotting of someone with media/press strap in the vicinity. THese straps not only tell you about the identity of the person wearing them but also the prime positioning he/she has. Mind you, these straps have the power to displace the UID scheme of Nilekeni as it would be a more prominent identity marker with less budget outlay.
As for the souls like us we could have straps announcing our aam admi lineage. But most of these straps are meant for those having cell possession or an identity in the society that would be feared by others. How could you have a strap round your neck if your distaste for a cell is as strong as your desire to hold no office of profit or loss in the society!
Post clinical interrogation i am told to not make another outing another season unless i strap with my status in society. And this gives me more fodder to strap around. Straps are meant to store vital details about the man on the move.
In all discourses, discussions/events, the invitees have a strap round the neck revealing the identity of the person. How about Obama with a strap clearly defining his identity and landing in Timbuktu. A strap or no strap the host would be least interested in showing allegiance to a man who hasn't cared to mention about Timbuktu in his less-than-preserved Press Briefings. Perhaps a strap for a woman whom he wants to woo in Timbuktu would give him a fair chance to have a Timbuktu tryst.
As for his tryst with Pakistan, he needs to strap himself with all the message on goodies of Pak. A name here and there of charming faces of Pak would cheer the host and he could well be in the company of Kayani,Gilani and Zardari with a night jiski subah nahi
As for likes of us who don't want to reveal and reverberate? Chances are if you don't strap enough you would be stripped to be left with nothing to reveal.
As i am told to wait for my turn at the 4th floor of AIIMS for suspected dengue, i am swayed by a board hanging to a wall that simply won't let you wash dirty linen in public. My gaze is fixed to the eight steps to wash and rub hands and how it could be done with clinical precision. High on its content are interfaced, interlocked, palms, dorsum and fingers, enough to let you think you were clever enough to sidestep them for years together. I am trying to memorise those steps as the sister walks past me now and then. She brings a new patient every time the other one goes inside for clinical interrogation. The last lap of this rigmarole has not been discovered yet. As moments pass, i vacate the chair every time an elderly walks in. How elderly he or she is or the frail looks just meant to get the seat they aspire for during a wait that could turn minutes into hrs. A young girl comes in and sits next to me; her gaze fixed towards mine and mine towards the eight-step board. I can't let anyone cry foul that this lad had enough time to memorise those eight steps and yet he gave it a miss. It is more than one hr and all those who came before and after me have had their interrogation sessions with the doc. Probably the doc inside wants to carry out a more detailed investigation on me. So he is looking for that extra time when chips are down and patients are none. THen i see a man sporting a strap round his neck with a cell in his front pocket. The strap has AIIMS written all over it. i ask the same familiar question of him being from AIIMS. THe man is in no mood to oblige and my gaze again turns towards the board. Why he was not obliging? Perhaps he had better things to do than gaze at the board and learn and unlearn the steps to wash and rub hands.
Probably by now others who are keeping a watch on me are of the view that i would have rehearsed the board lines so well that it would be at the back of my mind. But now my focus shifts to other straps doing the rounds of the city, having spotted the AIIMS one. If this guy could have the AIIMS strap, there could be one inscribed with Delhi police enough to send shivers down the spine of city residents. A strap proclaiming the Police of India would be feared by the place he/she visits. Perhaps a strap on Tihar Jail would be equally feared.
THese straps give them enough power to strip anyone in full public glare . What could stop them in their tracks could be the spotting of someone with media/press strap in the vicinity. THese straps not only tell you about the identity of the person wearing them but also the prime positioning he/she has. Mind you, these straps have the power to displace the UID scheme of Nilekeni as it would be a more prominent identity marker with less budget outlay.
As for the souls like us we could have straps announcing our aam admi lineage. But most of these straps are meant for those having cell possession or an identity in the society that would be feared by others. How could you have a strap round your neck if your distaste for a cell is as strong as your desire to hold no office of profit or loss in the society!
Post clinical interrogation i am told to not make another outing another season unless i strap with my status in society. And this gives me more fodder to strap around. Straps are meant to store vital details about the man on the move.
In all discourses, discussions/events, the invitees have a strap round the neck revealing the identity of the person. How about Obama with a strap clearly defining his identity and landing in Timbuktu. A strap or no strap the host would be least interested in showing allegiance to a man who hasn't cared to mention about Timbuktu in his less-than-preserved Press Briefings. Perhaps a strap for a woman whom he wants to woo in Timbuktu would give him a fair chance to have a Timbuktu tryst.
As for his tryst with Pakistan, he needs to strap himself with all the message on goodies of Pak. A name here and there of charming faces of Pak would cheer the host and he could well be in the company of Kayani,Gilani and Zardari with a night jiski subah nahi
As for likes of us who don't want to reveal and reverberate? Chances are if you don't strap enough you would be stripped to be left with nothing to reveal.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Of Obama and outstanding issues by Puneet Rajhans
Of Obama and outstanding issues
THe Obama administration has decided to withdraw tax breaks to companies that outsource jobs, research and innovation to other countries. THe heap of abuse that he would be courting from outsourced destinations would be a case of straying. The issue to be probed at length is why he is stepping on the gas when his visit to the subcontinent is less than two months away. The answer lies in the dilemma he faced while getting the content for his address to the joint houses of Parliament which would probably happen on Nov 9 if no other untoward incident(anti-outsourcing jibe being one of them) takes place between now and then. He didn't want the address to be customary like touching on ups and downs of India-US ties; the Changing equations between China and India or between India and Pak or more appropriately between China and Pak. He didn't even want to touch on China-India trade impetus or displacement of US as the largest trading partner of India. Not even on the level of illegal trade that comes from China to India via Pak, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal.
He wanted his address to be preceded by a question hour session with INdian lawmakers. The question hour in both houses is the time when he gives his sleep and family the much-flaunted miss. The feeding material that he gets for his address from the blanket and yet not visible ban on outsourcing in the state of Ohio to be followed by other states of US of A would be enough. He would be pilloried and booted for encouraging states after states from desisting from outsourcing to nation states like India. Once he has been heckled long enough to illustrate the heckling that his predecessor George Bush faced at the hands of different lobbies and groups, he would have set the tempo for his address to begin. He would urge Indian lawmakers to explore new territories from where the outsourcing business could be gained. Probably nation states like Nepal Bangladesh and Pak would be on his mind as he has a deep desire for US' ties to improve with these three countries. He would further ask the MPs to explore new ideas and partnerships with these three countries (Jewel in the Crown and not Tiny Viruses is how he would like them to be seen) which are on the verge of gaining new ground. The query could well be why these three nations.
"China", my dear friend. China has made deep inroads into these three nations while you people were squabbling about Women's reservation bill, enemy property bill and mp hike and slash bill. You need to court these countries if you don't want to be bombed to a stone age. As very soon these countries would have nuclear arsenal that would put you to shame. Again courtesy China.
My outspoken views on outsourcing is meant to see that you take outsourcing business from them and thereby mend your ways on dealing with neighbours who all are diehard supporters of Chinese regime. Once you take your level of engagement to a new level by getting outsourcing business from them you could well have a strong positioning vis-a-vis China.
As the deed has been done in Ohio to be followed in other states, the one issue that Obama won't touch is the hidden agenda behind his outsourcing idea. He may may well see Indian lawmakers being outspoken on this subject but by taking this anti outsourcing line he would have manufactured enough supporters for himself in at least Pakistan which he intends to visit soon. THe dates would be decided in deep consultations with Chinese officials.
As for his dates and stay in India, it could only be finalised when he gave a word to China that precisely two months before his visit he would drop the outsourcing bombshell. So even in India the Chinese Dragon would be on his mind and the Chinese politicos on the line where the new bombshell to come from his stable would be like this: "In the name of humanity and for durable peace in South Asia i would like to stress on China taking the mediatory role on all outstanding issues concerning India and Pakistan. Once China bid fails then i would take over. Mind you, we want to take engagement with you to a level never seen before."
THe Obama administration has decided to withdraw tax breaks to companies that outsource jobs, research and innovation to other countries. THe heap of abuse that he would be courting from outsourced destinations would be a case of straying. The issue to be probed at length is why he is stepping on the gas when his visit to the subcontinent is less than two months away. The answer lies in the dilemma he faced while getting the content for his address to the joint houses of Parliament which would probably happen on Nov 9 if no other untoward incident(anti-outsourcing jibe being one of them) takes place between now and then. He didn't want the address to be customary like touching on ups and downs of India-US ties; the Changing equations between China and India or between India and Pak or more appropriately between China and Pak. He didn't even want to touch on China-India trade impetus or displacement of US as the largest trading partner of India. Not even on the level of illegal trade that comes from China to India via Pak, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal.
He wanted his address to be preceded by a question hour session with INdian lawmakers. The question hour in both houses is the time when he gives his sleep and family the much-flaunted miss. The feeding material that he gets for his address from the blanket and yet not visible ban on outsourcing in the state of Ohio to be followed by other states of US of A would be enough. He would be pilloried and booted for encouraging states after states from desisting from outsourcing to nation states like India. Once he has been heckled long enough to illustrate the heckling that his predecessor George Bush faced at the hands of different lobbies and groups, he would have set the tempo for his address to begin. He would urge Indian lawmakers to explore new territories from where the outsourcing business could be gained. Probably nation states like Nepal Bangladesh and Pak would be on his mind as he has a deep desire for US' ties to improve with these three countries. He would further ask the MPs to explore new ideas and partnerships with these three countries (Jewel in the Crown and not Tiny Viruses is how he would like them to be seen) which are on the verge of gaining new ground. The query could well be why these three nations.
"China", my dear friend. China has made deep inroads into these three nations while you people were squabbling about Women's reservation bill, enemy property bill and mp hike and slash bill. You need to court these countries if you don't want to be bombed to a stone age. As very soon these countries would have nuclear arsenal that would put you to shame. Again courtesy China.
My outspoken views on outsourcing is meant to see that you take outsourcing business from them and thereby mend your ways on dealing with neighbours who all are diehard supporters of Chinese regime. Once you take your level of engagement to a new level by getting outsourcing business from them you could well have a strong positioning vis-a-vis China.
As the deed has been done in Ohio to be followed in other states, the one issue that Obama won't touch is the hidden agenda behind his outsourcing idea. He may may well see Indian lawmakers being outspoken on this subject but by taking this anti outsourcing line he would have manufactured enough supporters for himself in at least Pakistan which he intends to visit soon. THe dates would be decided in deep consultations with Chinese officials.
As for his dates and stay in India, it could only be finalised when he gave a word to China that precisely two months before his visit he would drop the outsourcing bombshell. So even in India the Chinese Dragon would be on his mind and the Chinese politicos on the line where the new bombshell to come from his stable would be like this: "In the name of humanity and for durable peace in South Asia i would like to stress on China taking the mediatory role on all outstanding issues concerning India and Pakistan. Once China bid fails then i would take over. Mind you, we want to take engagement with you to a level never seen before."
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Manmohan ki jaban se by Puneet Rajhans
Manmohan ki jaban se
It was a tete-a-tete with Editors that saw Manmohan speak for hours together. He spoke at length and at a wavelength that was entirely in congruence with what the past present and prospective editors wanted to hear. Baffling the prime movers from Janpath to Tughlaq Lane and the entire nation at large was essentially the urgency for him to address the nation when he had spoken to the world at large barely three weeks ago from the ramparts of Red Fort.
Some summed it like this: "In his second term he doesn't want to prolong the agony of the common man by declaring his intent that he is ever ready for a prospective third and fourth terms even if he is being lapped by a majority."
Precisely he wanted to set the record straight that he wasn't attempting a record term in office given the unopposed election of BIG G for a record fourth term. If his speil on governance at the Red Fort address had been lost out in the hype and hoopla of G's record outing so be it. He thundered: "My dear countrymen, i am not seeking a record of sorts here . DEspite the fireworks at the Cabinet meetings presided over by me, the Cabinet of MINE is the best to date. It is more cohesive than the past and distant past dispensations including that of JLN."
"I want to make it abundantly clear that we don't throttle the voices of Cabinet colleagues, essentially the voice of aam janata. When they speak they speak for the common man who has lost sense of upcoming power centres setting record of sorts."
When my colleagues come for cabinet meeting , fresh from the dose of centre fresh(Jaban par lagaam de) they are given the much-desired opportunity to speak. And when they speak they spar and spew venom of uncontrolled nature. That shows the freedom they exercise and the different constituents they speak for. As Road Minister Kamal Nath and Aviation MInister Patel take potshots at Green Minister Jairam Ramesh, the latter seeks redemption by stressing on Vedanta Voyage and how it has been hailed by big and upcoming bossess of JP and Tughlaq Lane.
Then there are others who have been lobbying for one business house or the other. They take potshots at each other and want the relevant files to be cleared ASAP. I urge them to be a patient commodity as patience would see them prolong their stay in office and thereby pile on the agony of the janata. As dust settles and colleagues have had their share of litany of plaints to be shared with i urge them to raise their voices to a new pitch at every durbar including that of BIG G as they were party to uncontrolled celebrations over her unopposed feat.
By talking about his reluctance to step on the gas on completing record days in office the PM wanted to clear the air ever since reports started coming in on his clocking record days in office. Asked repeatedly about his take on record terms in office, he said his Cab Colleagues would be given full freedom to take this up in the next meeting where all those who have attempted and achieved record terms under their belt in party, govt and admninistration would be taken to task in full public glare as for the first time he would set a record of sorts where Cab meetings would be televised live. Asked whether his Cab Colleagues would oblige him. With no centre fresh around they would be more willing to bare their heart.
As PM was about to leave the scribes wanted to know from him on how the AAM JANATA can reach him. "I have a toll free no 1800 180 38 37 36. The public can reach me here. I would speak on all issues including the record no of pills (contraceptives included) doing the rounds of cities and towns, the endless screaming TV debates that sees half of our countrymen go without sleep for months together and the face off among political adversaries that leads to a deal that is yet to be signed, sealed and delivered."
It was a tete-a-tete with Editors that saw Manmohan speak for hours together. He spoke at length and at a wavelength that was entirely in congruence with what the past present and prospective editors wanted to hear. Baffling the prime movers from Janpath to Tughlaq Lane and the entire nation at large was essentially the urgency for him to address the nation when he had spoken to the world at large barely three weeks ago from the ramparts of Red Fort.
Some summed it like this: "In his second term he doesn't want to prolong the agony of the common man by declaring his intent that he is ever ready for a prospective third and fourth terms even if he is being lapped by a majority."
Precisely he wanted to set the record straight that he wasn't attempting a record term in office given the unopposed election of BIG G for a record fourth term. If his speil on governance at the Red Fort address had been lost out in the hype and hoopla of G's record outing so be it. He thundered: "My dear countrymen, i am not seeking a record of sorts here . DEspite the fireworks at the Cabinet meetings presided over by me, the Cabinet of MINE is the best to date. It is more cohesive than the past and distant past dispensations including that of JLN."
"I want to make it abundantly clear that we don't throttle the voices of Cabinet colleagues, essentially the voice of aam janata. When they speak they speak for the common man who has lost sense of upcoming power centres setting record of sorts."
When my colleagues come for cabinet meeting , fresh from the dose of centre fresh(Jaban par lagaam de) they are given the much-desired opportunity to speak. And when they speak they spar and spew venom of uncontrolled nature. That shows the freedom they exercise and the different constituents they speak for. As Road Minister Kamal Nath and Aviation MInister Patel take potshots at Green Minister Jairam Ramesh, the latter seeks redemption by stressing on Vedanta Voyage and how it has been hailed by big and upcoming bossess of JP and Tughlaq Lane.
Then there are others who have been lobbying for one business house or the other. They take potshots at each other and want the relevant files to be cleared ASAP. I urge them to be a patient commodity as patience would see them prolong their stay in office and thereby pile on the agony of the janata. As dust settles and colleagues have had their share of litany of plaints to be shared with i urge them to raise their voices to a new pitch at every durbar including that of BIG G as they were party to uncontrolled celebrations over her unopposed feat.
By talking about his reluctance to step on the gas on completing record days in office the PM wanted to clear the air ever since reports started coming in on his clocking record days in office. Asked repeatedly about his take on record terms in office, he said his Cab Colleagues would be given full freedom to take this up in the next meeting where all those who have attempted and achieved record terms under their belt in party, govt and admninistration would be taken to task in full public glare as for the first time he would set a record of sorts where Cab meetings would be televised live. Asked whether his Cab Colleagues would oblige him. With no centre fresh around they would be more willing to bare their heart.
As PM was about to leave the scribes wanted to know from him on how the AAM JANATA can reach him. "I have a toll free no 1800 180 38 37 36. The public can reach me here. I would speak on all issues including the record no of pills (contraceptives included) doing the rounds of cities and towns, the endless screaming TV debates that sees half of our countrymen go without sleep for months together and the face off among political adversaries that leads to a deal that is yet to be signed, sealed and delivered."
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