All-party meet and the 12th man by Puneet Rajhans

All-party meet and the 12th man


What is this all-party meeting and who all are supposed to blast their way to these time honoured and agenda adhered meets? There are big time speakers and a long list of listeners to complete the proceedings. It normally begins with the lighting of the traditional lamp and post customary exchanges and pleasantries everybody gets to the serious business of nodding and dozing off as the need of the hour demands. Only one agenda is taken up. Given the fact that representatives from major, minor and mofussil parties attend the meet, one agenda at a time is the mantra.As each gets an equal and opportune moment to present himself/herself before the reigning kings and queens, it opens with a lot who were dethroned by the current administrators blasting the present regime in a state, followed by those at the helm in all-praise mode for their efforts to continue in this unforeseen state of affairs and the prospective ones who fancy their chances at some time stressing on the need to move on. Each and every soul attempting to show that his heart and soul is with the threadbare discussions underway thereby prolonging the agony of the participants and of those serving tea and coffee. Some meets even break for lunch/dinner.

The common ailment dogging such meets are that no sooner the representative of a party has spoken up he dozes off only to be shaken up when the time has come to exit. If the duration of the meet isn't long enough some bare their heart during lunch/dinner breaks, literally deranging the host with suggestions and windfall gains that would accrue if the authority take recourse to their scheme of designs. For the moment, these parties are seasonal in nature, having been out of bounds for those adorning seasonal glasses; something that was not to be seen in the previous editions. THese seasonal glasses are a torment for others for the simple fact that the one with them have ulterior motives up their sleeves and no amount of coercion would make them part them.
As this round of all-party meet got over the overwhelming demand was to convert them into all-sections and all-community meets.Where not just the politico but the biggies of corporate world, bollywood, sanitation department and strike and stir union heads would be invited to hear and heed. In such an all-weather friendly meet it is believed that saints from different worlds would rub shoulders with Bo'wood hearthrobs. The Bollywood in particular would seek the locations in the Kashmir Valley out of bounds for aam janata to be accessed by them for prolonged shoots thus giving the Kashmir centric package the boost it aspired for. The corporates would seek more active participation of greying crowd of Bollywood in a large number of endorsements thus handing out on platter an invitation to the politicos to associate with their products.
As for the likes of us, we too have been getting invites for such meets in places as distant as Kazipet and Kaziranga. As the 12th man to the proceedings we are supposed to oversee the preparation of tea/coffee and ensure the washrooms are up and running. As long as the meet was confined to the politicos, the rush to the washroom was unbelievable and with some staying put for the entire duration. And this resulted in their being marked absent for the meet. To preempt such ruling from the powers-that-be, these politicos do rush to the washrooms now only to leave soon. The state of the loos are a reminder of the last time you visited the bus terminal relieving centres. Early exit from washrooms has their unbuttoned shirts and pants with the fly thick and wide open. It's an embarrassment for the ruling junta when they look at the state of affairs. To cut such possibilities they are attempting to convert the present format to all sections meet.
Changed format or no format we would continue to skip them as long as we are not listed in the playing contingent rather dismissed as 12th man to oversee the washrooms and suggest how better they can be maintained. It's precisely for that the sanitation heads would be invited for future meets.