Drafting mails at Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport,Mumbai by Puneet Rajhans

Mails at Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport,Mumbai

As i take a seat at Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport,Mumbai, the man sitting next to me places a machine at top of his lap. He starts drafting mails which he should have sent the previous month, and the urgent need to do the same follows the threat to snap his water and power connections as bills haven't been cleared for long and he not having appeared in person to share his side of his story on how limited has been his stay at home.
Following the series of mails and meeting of mind he seeks services of those lying in the vicinity including me to help him draft a mail to a person he has never met, spoken or kissed. Nod or no nod from me he hits the accelerator.
His mail to the woman he wants to woo and weep with depending as the ground situation develops goes like this.
As luck would have it, the government would suggest it, the dissemination of information within permissible limit is sougth on the following.
- The place you were born and all those who were there to cheer your arrival on earth.
- The time and date of arrival (year and date can rotate according to your convenience).
- The school you went to and the college you progressed towards including the extra year you had to spend for a class which you could not go through in the stipulated time despite the best efforts of yours and peers.
- The days in a month when you never returned from school at the appointed time and went beyond the call of duty to explore the unexplored world.
- The number of crushes you had, including the durable ones and how you got out of them.
- The number of relationships you got in and walked out as the man/boy wasn't responsible enough to handle adult content.
- The charges of nepotism, favouritism that came your way while taking the first assignment followed by charges of abdication of duty post first year of survival.
- The overwhelming urge to succeed in a world marked by skirmishes and scuffle. Does the possibility of not earning the livelihood for a duration yet to be spelled out doesn't uplift your sentiments.
- And finally, the number of times you have stepped out of home for long duration and what efforts you make (including the food and milk you have)to keep your tummy in shape and the mind from getting baked despite attempts by others to intrude into you personal space. Others like the number of hours you sleep and the number of hours you pretend to sleep. Similar divisions as far as working and pretending to work at home and office were the other queries from his side.

As the man drafted the mail and sought suggestions from the tribe sitting next to him (the composition had changed as the old lot had been replaced by a new one; some had taken the flight and some had been blessed with the determination to skip the flight and take country roads), they suggested that once he gets the response on the mail, he can hope to take the next big step of seeking compatability and entrapment.

I,for one, was not that keen to get into the details as i had other preoccupation of keeping my tummy in order given the long journey i had taken from Chennai and was supposed to proceed to a city where the 400-odd rooms of Rashtrapati Bhawan were yet to be occupied by aam janata.