Of ticking and sea-saw battlebookwallahs
The conductor ticking me off for the seat i occupied was meant for the ladies (the tamil code in buses have no subtitles in Hindi), i probably failed to sense the larger picture. Probably he wanted to befriend the lady who would later board the bus as the nine hour travelling time would have been hard to kill given dispensing ticket and looking at the odd man getting in and out is an exercise that lasts few minutes. THere was an interesting mix of people on board with the young couple from Oriya looking to be dismembered and the oldish one from Tuticorin very much alive to the proceedings. The Tamil guy wrapped in lungi and shirt (most visible faces are in this outfit and they look blessed)next to me spoke in Tamil but gestured wide enough for the places where i could have the meals.
Having taken another seat, i gave the conductor a note big enough (as that what the bank could manage at the odd hour)where he could hand me changes of veritable proportion. Holding the note in his hand, for the next two minutes his stares were divided between me and the note. Probably he wanted to ensure the veracity of the note and the verification of the guy whom he planned to grill and grate for the entire commute. Sadly for him the seats for the ladies were taken by a couple and he could hardly go the extra mile given the odd man(hubby) in picture. The man he could barely throttle him with his lung power and dispense with as his heavy built posture was enough to keep the likes of conductor and the bus miles apart.
Verification over, he moved to other passengers blasting some here and there for their temerity to take a bus that would consume nine hrs of their hard won existence on earth. Well for me, the verification had to do with the zombies who were claiming to have millions of followers by tweeting every hour/writing scripts every week on papers and paper-folded tvs on issues close to the heart of the lobbies they worked for. Their shows on tv flaunting the fabric they wore and hideouts they visited, the followers in all probability would be from the elites of Venice to Venezuela who have no other preoccupation than blow the vuvuzela .
It was better to align with a better train of thought than be detained by these happenings. Probaly like some enhancing their reading skills for a specific period in this period of seasonal flu and viruses. WEre these seasonal glasses or no glasses meant to babble before the camera for endless acquisitions and hopeless propositions?
Quite taken aback their mentors at place of work would have sought an answer and the lady in question would have purred: "Sirji, the heat and dust from the debris of Never-Before-Seen- Games-In-Delhi has blurred my vision of the people who report for duty. Though i have followers from Kashmir to Kanniyakumari (the sea-saw battlebook has put the figure close to 170; adding and dropping each passing hour), the followers at place of weekly-dispensed salary have dwindled and my search is for the followers who could keep my system up and running beyond midnight hrs."
As the bus shakes and moves with Nagercoil body unit inscribed on its body, i come across different packs on the way to my destination. First the daily pack from DOCOMO that spelt 600 seconds of STD/local talk for Rs 5. The next the face pack; essentially the multani mitti that is employed to get the sheen back on face. Finally the glass pack wherein the glasses are worn for reasons and period best known to the customer.
A character with untamed duration on cell along with the need for sheen and shape to return on the face would settle for the three packs. As i try to figure out one such character on bus, there the conductor blasts another guy who is standing next to the bus stop. First he tries to board the bus, stops and herds in a different direction, noting that he hasn't had his meals only to be stopped on his tracks by the conductor.
"You made us stop this bus with 50 other hungry souls who haven't had meals since last night and you want your meals when afternoon has just set in. I won't let you give this bus a miss as well as have the meals at the appointed hour. Faced with no choice, he boarded with the conductor yet to complete his debating skills with him.
The man sitting next to me is a desolate character who goes to sleep now and then, at times making a point to look at the writing notes being made-and-thrown by me to the lapping janata. Since all along he has spoken to me in Tamil and i responded by stressing that my life is an open book with no pages to pore over. Probably you need to look at the sea-saw battlebook inheritors who have surprises saddled with them given their urge to add new followers. Finally both of us agree that 170-odd followers won't even foreclose the possibility of security being forfeited in a municipal election if ever they wished to contest.
Quite predictably the couple sitting behind the conductor are past their smooth conduct of operations and the next one hour they are engaged in a hostility bid where each wants to smother the other to history. They settle for a period of peace only when they are threatened of 50-odd food denied entities joining the mayhem to pack both of them to history.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Of batons and the next generation
The ruckus that is being raised and staged over Rs 72.5 cr for procuring lathis in UP is a senseless one. Here adjacent to Nagercoil not only enough lathis were procured but enough policemen too had been packed to 24X7 proceedings to ensure that the celebrations of the political party went without a hitch. With cops throwing blanket all over the 20km-long stretch between KKRI and Nagercoil, the lathi was the only instrument in hand to ensure that none of the 10 million black and red flags were uprooted for the next 10 weeks and none of the cutouts, billboards of leaders and the issues that were once dear to them and having gone further were brought down for the next 10 months.
It was the lathi - and the multitasking operations that it could be employed for - that was pressed into service with the express message none to be used unless and until the Kalaignar blew hot and cold . Well hot and cold coffee had been served for the people on the dais who had been firmly told to not spew the hot and cold venoms reserved for those sharing the dais. Well for the aam janata in attendance had been promised mass meals and the coupons for the next six days as the patriarch was visiting the town after six years.
There were heaps and heaps of newspapers lying scattered here and there. Probably the meals coupon were tagged to them. The papers and the stories it carried, i opened up to the wide, wet and wild world of the political party and how its promises changed priorities at every passing rally. The paper fed meal was all that was promised with veg meals at a place six kms away with the serpentine queue going right to the outskirts. Well, the lathi-wielding cops could have the meals at the place next to the dais with the rider that they were able to convince the event managers on the lathi being logically employed to intimidate the public to mark their presence in the rally.
In Nagercoil and the areas around it the budget to stage the stir-and-shaken celebrations ran into several hundred crores to precisely kickstart the passing of the baton(lathi) to the next generation of leaders. And here we are bickering over the Rs 72.5 cr amount spent to rain the janata with choicest of abuses and slangs in the state of the North. THe day the highest man in office to the lowest ebb that one can presume to flow would be with the same sentiments with the lathii-wielding cops and super cops stretched beyond your and mine imagination. Post verdict they would be asked to rain blows on the crowd which has not shaken enough to cause a stir ; and if enough mayhem is on the streets , the lathi would be employed in appropriate proportion to bring sanity.
Mind you these lathis have been employed and cops deployed at vantage points of the state for the time being. These batons of power and indulgences would be passed on to their counterparts in other states where a mayhem is about to break out over any issue under the sun.
These batons of beauty come in different shapes and sizes clearly defined by the size of the state where it is to be employed; the scope of the stir to be covered; and more appropriately the forces at work who would instigate the lathi borrower to go full throttle or lie muteless as the circumstances may be. No cribbing over the baton where it changes hands generation after generation with the sole determinant being that the life should go on come rally, rains or raining baton blows. After all a few baton blows here and there is a necessity to kick us out of our slumber and forthrightly approach for the rally where attendance is wearily thin.
After all the govt of the day wants the excitement quotient to be sustained, the TVwallahs the story strong enough to drive them out of their senses. The story that is intersprsed with the inscrption that the the following unfolding story has these sponsors. For the State government, these court delivered moments (against the adverse travel advisory) gets more tourists to the state given the pledge the large number of tour operators take to come out with the best tour package to date.
As these undercurrents were defining my return journey from Nagercoil, i settled for a late-night food at a dhaba which happened to be its first and last day of operation. The prime mover behind the dhaba had opened it with the faint hope that the rally would bring new visitors to his spot. But there were more goons and less visitors. And these visitors vowed to never return to this joint nothwithstanding the likes of DMK, MDMK, ADMK and other Big and Small Ks deciding to hold a joint rally in and around its surroundings.
It was the lathi - and the multitasking operations that it could be employed for - that was pressed into service with the express message none to be used unless and until the Kalaignar blew hot and cold . Well hot and cold coffee had been served for the people on the dais who had been firmly told to not spew the hot and cold venoms reserved for those sharing the dais. Well for the aam janata in attendance had been promised mass meals and the coupons for the next six days as the patriarch was visiting the town after six years.
There were heaps and heaps of newspapers lying scattered here and there. Probably the meals coupon were tagged to them. The papers and the stories it carried, i opened up to the wide, wet and wild world of the political party and how its promises changed priorities at every passing rally. The paper fed meal was all that was promised with veg meals at a place six kms away with the serpentine queue going right to the outskirts. Well, the lathi-wielding cops could have the meals at the place next to the dais with the rider that they were able to convince the event managers on the lathi being logically employed to intimidate the public to mark their presence in the rally.
In Nagercoil and the areas around it the budget to stage the stir-and-shaken celebrations ran into several hundred crores to precisely kickstart the passing of the baton(lathi) to the next generation of leaders. And here we are bickering over the Rs 72.5 cr amount spent to rain the janata with choicest of abuses and slangs in the state of the North. THe day the highest man in office to the lowest ebb that one can presume to flow would be with the same sentiments with the lathii-wielding cops and super cops stretched beyond your and mine imagination. Post verdict they would be asked to rain blows on the crowd which has not shaken enough to cause a stir ; and if enough mayhem is on the streets , the lathi would be employed in appropriate proportion to bring sanity.
Mind you these lathis have been employed and cops deployed at vantage points of the state for the time being. These batons of power and indulgences would be passed on to their counterparts in other states where a mayhem is about to break out over any issue under the sun.
These batons of beauty come in different shapes and sizes clearly defined by the size of the state where it is to be employed; the scope of the stir to be covered; and more appropriately the forces at work who would instigate the lathi borrower to go full throttle or lie muteless as the circumstances may be. No cribbing over the baton where it changes hands generation after generation with the sole determinant being that the life should go on come rally, rains or raining baton blows. After all a few baton blows here and there is a necessity to kick us out of our slumber and forthrightly approach for the rally where attendance is wearily thin.
After all the govt of the day wants the excitement quotient to be sustained, the TVwallahs the story strong enough to drive them out of their senses. The story that is intersprsed with the inscrption that the the following unfolding story has these sponsors. For the State government, these court delivered moments (against the adverse travel advisory) gets more tourists to the state given the pledge the large number of tour operators take to come out with the best tour package to date.
As these undercurrents were defining my return journey from Nagercoil, i settled for a late-night food at a dhaba which happened to be its first and last day of operation. The prime mover behind the dhaba had opened it with the faint hope that the rally would bring new visitors to his spot. But there were more goons and less visitors. And these visitors vowed to never return to this joint nothwithstanding the likes of DMK, MDMK, ADMK and other Big and Small Ks deciding to hold a joint rally in and around its surroundings.
Of Airborne and frank assessments by Puneet Rajhans
The one manning the ATM centre has dozed off when the unrelenting Sun won't do a disappearing act for a long time. My protest at his temerity to doze off when the goons could well blast their way to the money swindled machine (MSM)leads to a strong verbal protest from him. "This is sleeping time, " and with nothing more to protest i move on. That was a day after the goons who were incapacitated enough to even fiddle here and there following the flags they had to foist and the salaam they had to throw at the uncounted number of Must Visit Personalities of Nagercoil.
They threw a lot of protest here and there when the streets had not been cleared enough for them to move with their unaccounted cash. Some cash they deposited at the ATM and some they flung at the public that was desperate enough to halt their unaccounted cash movement.Today, the ATM centre had another man. Probably the security guard the pprevious day would have been lifted by the MVPs realising that he had got wind of their operations. The cash stashed in the ATMs in and around ran into millions and those who dared to fill the coffers had their vists that ran into three digits. He would have been airborne by the time the news trickled in that the man at the machine had vanished to a unnamed location. This location we would never get to know for a long time but we are sure of the location where the BIG GAMES are destined to happen.
A bridge that was supposed to provide the seamless connectivity to JLN centre has given in to the pressure tactics and procastination schedules of the powers-that-be. The firm having been blacklisted with their personnel facing prospects of being beaten black and blue, the Michael Fennel letter to the Government leaves much to be desired. He is seeking answers at a time when the written tests are well and over and the time is ripe enough to hold practicals. He is at fault. He should have been shooting letters precisely from Oct 3, 2009, when the Games were truly 365 days away.
Just 10 days left and he seeks written explanation on the bridges to be completed, the meals to be served, the centres from where coupons for free meals could be procured and other such nuggets. The exacting standards he and his colleagues are seeking is leaving the overworked and underpaid government departments (overtime has not been paid for the past six months)in excruciating pain. The sanitation standards that they want to be established is a debate that could well continue post Games. The open spaces to relieve is a revelation of sorts for them. Perhaps they want the shame to be swept aside by erecting tents at every 50 metres to the venue where any guy of any shape size and colour could relieve himself to have realised the decade-old dream of being in the vicinity of the Games though he could not make it to the venue as passes were few and the gaining a foothold inside he hardly knew.
As for Hooper and Fennel they need to cut down on hype and saddle with enough phenyl to bring a clarity in sanitation procedures. To cut the intensity of the looming loo crisis, they have started issuing passes to all and sundry whereby they could visit the loos earmarked for these CWG officials and provide an honest assessment of the entire loo and its surroundings. As for other frank assessments, the guys and babes from New Zealand, Canada and Australia have descended on the Capital with the will to try Hooper-cum-Fennel loos and bring out the hidden facts before the aam janata. As for those who first threatened to call off the Games and then disappered into these not counted loos, they probably don't realise the unaccounted amount that has been dispensed to procure the lathis (wooden sticks). These lathis could well dispatch the threat-wielding officials to a loo where none have dared to visit before. And it was precisely this threat that made Fennel to develop a fetish for the media with the brief that post Games India stood a solid (solid waste) chance of hosting another Games that no one had seen or heard before. Probably the WAR GAMES that India would be preoccupied with the man from Australia who thundered that in the first place the Games shouldn't have gone to India. It should have gone to Pakistan.
They threw a lot of protest here and there when the streets had not been cleared enough for them to move with their unaccounted cash. Some cash they deposited at the ATM and some they flung at the public that was desperate enough to halt their unaccounted cash movement.Today, the ATM centre had another man. Probably the security guard the pprevious day would have been lifted by the MVPs realising that he had got wind of their operations. The cash stashed in the ATMs in and around ran into millions and those who dared to fill the coffers had their vists that ran into three digits. He would have been airborne by the time the news trickled in that the man at the machine had vanished to a unnamed location. This location we would never get to know for a long time but we are sure of the location where the BIG GAMES are destined to happen.
A bridge that was supposed to provide the seamless connectivity to JLN centre has given in to the pressure tactics and procastination schedules of the powers-that-be. The firm having been blacklisted with their personnel facing prospects of being beaten black and blue, the Michael Fennel letter to the Government leaves much to be desired. He is seeking answers at a time when the written tests are well and over and the time is ripe enough to hold practicals. He is at fault. He should have been shooting letters precisely from Oct 3, 2009, when the Games were truly 365 days away.
Just 10 days left and he seeks written explanation on the bridges to be completed, the meals to be served, the centres from where coupons for free meals could be procured and other such nuggets. The exacting standards he and his colleagues are seeking is leaving the overworked and underpaid government departments (overtime has not been paid for the past six months)in excruciating pain. The sanitation standards that they want to be established is a debate that could well continue post Games. The open spaces to relieve is a revelation of sorts for them. Perhaps they want the shame to be swept aside by erecting tents at every 50 metres to the venue where any guy of any shape size and colour could relieve himself to have realised the decade-old dream of being in the vicinity of the Games though he could not make it to the venue as passes were few and the gaining a foothold inside he hardly knew.
As for Hooper and Fennel they need to cut down on hype and saddle with enough phenyl to bring a clarity in sanitation procedures. To cut the intensity of the looming loo crisis, they have started issuing passes to all and sundry whereby they could visit the loos earmarked for these CWG officials and provide an honest assessment of the entire loo and its surroundings. As for other frank assessments, the guys and babes from New Zealand, Canada and Australia have descended on the Capital with the will to try Hooper-cum-Fennel loos and bring out the hidden facts before the aam janata. As for those who first threatened to call off the Games and then disappered into these not counted loos, they probably don't realise the unaccounted amount that has been dispensed to procure the lathis (wooden sticks). These lathis could well dispatch the threat-wielding officials to a loo where none have dared to visit before. And it was precisely this threat that made Fennel to develop a fetish for the media with the brief that post Games India stood a solid (solid waste) chance of hosting another Games that no one had seen or heard before. Probably the WAR GAMES that India would be preoccupied with the man from Australia who thundered that in the first place the Games shouldn't have gone to India. It should have gone to Pakistan.
Of truckload and weighing options by Puneet Rajhans
Of truckload and weighing options
As i proceed towards Alagarkovil, which is 25 kms away from my place of stay, Jos Alukkas hoadings can be spotted at all odd places. There are hoardings of Yodhas and Yogis of political and spiritual spheres looking for a long line of debate with the masses whom they endear and the latter who endure them for a period never spelled out. They have sought their participation in rallies and demonstrations all across the cities and towns with the intent to keep open the line of communication with them lest they could be charged with acts of treason, treachery and travesty of truth.
Not to be missed out in the flood of hoardings are numerous declarations of colleges, hotels and jewellery behemoths warning you of the need to part with your resources now failing which you could well be drained of all the resources in future as the discount tamed anxieties would be hard to trace. While they want to pole vault their imprints on the landscape of the cities they are traced to, their ulterior motive to stay connected is to strip the prowess of the man earning or yet to earn given his habitual nature to turn a saint every 15 forbidden days of a month. That could well be an entire month or years together if demands of the family don't pole vault him to step out for the freedom of faith and expression he seeks.
As these hoardings and histrionics i find hard to resist, i am repeatedly told to share with an audience that has the potential to turn into preferably less than one the trials and tribulations i endured on my way from Kanniyakumari. The man at the wheels who who could dispense with tickets with as much ease as he could take the untold quantum of cell delivered threats/suggestions was weighing his options as far as my chances of embarking and disembarking were concerned. He had the temerity to take the vehicle past the municipality ground of Nagercoil, perhaps to relive the moment when this very vehicle had taken truckload of men, women and babes to the DMK rally when others had refused to do so.
The municipality ground looked to have withstood the fury of the rallyists when the water tank looked as intact as the gates in place five days post mayhem. There was a road that ran next to the ground and i was told that for two days prior to the rally and two days later it was out of bounds for the masses. the Tamil girl i spotted next to a bus stand and the smile on her faced suggested the sigh of relief she was imbued with as men and machine could return to the roads and places nearby. But this peace of mind and normalcy wasn't meant for me as the conductor threw his weight by insisting on getting the weight of my luggage measured. He was yet to ripped apart from the Nagercoil hangover where men, women and babes boarded with no luggage in hand. Precisely for this very reason at bus stands he meant to shut the doors on those who had a luggage to carry on. If you want to carry on with your luggage, his pure insistence on down payment (hafta vasool)was met with stiff resistance and queries on receipt to be handed out. THe receipt which he could barely part with finally led to a retaliation of sorts when he blocked my front view. With nothing more than a side view this was the lowest low i could hit in my life.
At different bus stops, he insisted the halts would be beyond imagination as he would be doing the rounds of places to get the crowd. Not in the frame of imagination to date, he visited the neaby colleges, hospital, nursing homes to enlist the support of those who intended to travel with no luggage. THe 75 per cent discount and free return journey couldn't even bring him close to his truckload desire.
THe long series of cell talks that he engaged in prior to the approaching bus stands where he would plead and prod the authorities in and around the areas to get him the public support on the bus led some to suggest that he should do the rounds of the pay and use toilets at bus terminals as that is the place where the folks untraceable for months could be traced. For the duration he stayed inside and the men he tried to trace led to a series of revolts as he was told to pay for the loos he attended. Finally he settled at the wheels and resigned to the fate of a solitary stray guy straying enough to board the bus at one place only to disembark at the next one to realise his luggage was lying unattended at the point of origination. It was over seven hrs to this longer-than-imagined commute and this time the man was on a long distance call. A truckload of people from Kyrgyzstan would be visiting the seas of Tamil Nadu and Kerala he was told.
THe cell delivered moments and navigation of the bus were the twin objectives he was tasked with followed by jotting down the details. Of the men,women and worn out babes with the foreseeable ailments they could suffer from to the weight of the pieces they would bring along. Details to clinical proportion, he agreed to ferry them from the State of Kerala to the State of Karnataka with a stopover in Tamil Nadu on the condition that the baggage would be boarded in a different vehicle. Sensing he had won a battle bigger than Nagercoil and a hangover that could last beyond this year, he offered to the decreasing by the hour janata on the bus the need to ferry them and their members a free ride to places of their choice in the States Of Kerala and Karnataka. He even propositioned them the free meals provided none carried any luggage.
Well, the likes of me were clearly out of his frame and sight and i was endowed with the task of locating his half brother whom he lost in the celebrations of the Thanjavur Temple 30 years ago. The awesome luggage that the brothers carried to the awesome celebrations made them lose sight of the awesome ladies that were in attendance. A celebrations that saw the two brothers drift apart under the growing weightage of luggage they lumbered with.
As the millennium cebrations are underway this time the chances of the two meeting are less than remote. AS powers-that-be including Karuna have already given the temple celebrations a miss given the luggage they have to strut around from places as distant as Chennai, Trichy, Kanniyakumari and Thiruvanthapuram, the word is out that others may too give the feat a miss as luggage is too hard to bear. But for me the chance to locate the lost brother could well materialse if i pace up and down the States of Kerala and Karnataka with the noble belief that there could be lurking another truckload trendsetter who has a distaste for luggage and a clear fetish for letter K.
As i proceed towards Alagarkovil, which is 25 kms away from my place of stay, Jos Alukkas hoadings can be spotted at all odd places. There are hoardings of Yodhas and Yogis of political and spiritual spheres looking for a long line of debate with the masses whom they endear and the latter who endure them for a period never spelled out. They have sought their participation in rallies and demonstrations all across the cities and towns with the intent to keep open the line of communication with them lest they could be charged with acts of treason, treachery and travesty of truth.
Not to be missed out in the flood of hoardings are numerous declarations of colleges, hotels and jewellery behemoths warning you of the need to part with your resources now failing which you could well be drained of all the resources in future as the discount tamed anxieties would be hard to trace. While they want to pole vault their imprints on the landscape of the cities they are traced to, their ulterior motive to stay connected is to strip the prowess of the man earning or yet to earn given his habitual nature to turn a saint every 15 forbidden days of a month. That could well be an entire month or years together if demands of the family don't pole vault him to step out for the freedom of faith and expression he seeks.
As these hoardings and histrionics i find hard to resist, i am repeatedly told to share with an audience that has the potential to turn into preferably less than one the trials and tribulations i endured on my way from Kanniyakumari. The man at the wheels who who could dispense with tickets with as much ease as he could take the untold quantum of cell delivered threats/suggestions was weighing his options as far as my chances of embarking and disembarking were concerned. He had the temerity to take the vehicle past the municipality ground of Nagercoil, perhaps to relive the moment when this very vehicle had taken truckload of men, women and babes to the DMK rally when others had refused to do so.
The municipality ground looked to have withstood the fury of the rallyists when the water tank looked as intact as the gates in place five days post mayhem. There was a road that ran next to the ground and i was told that for two days prior to the rally and two days later it was out of bounds for the masses. the Tamil girl i spotted next to a bus stand and the smile on her faced suggested the sigh of relief she was imbued with as men and machine could return to the roads and places nearby. But this peace of mind and normalcy wasn't meant for me as the conductor threw his weight by insisting on getting the weight of my luggage measured. He was yet to ripped apart from the Nagercoil hangover where men, women and babes boarded with no luggage in hand. Precisely for this very reason at bus stands he meant to shut the doors on those who had a luggage to carry on. If you want to carry on with your luggage, his pure insistence on down payment (hafta vasool)was met with stiff resistance and queries on receipt to be handed out. THe receipt which he could barely part with finally led to a retaliation of sorts when he blocked my front view. With nothing more than a side view this was the lowest low i could hit in my life.
At different bus stops, he insisted the halts would be beyond imagination as he would be doing the rounds of places to get the crowd. Not in the frame of imagination to date, he visited the neaby colleges, hospital, nursing homes to enlist the support of those who intended to travel with no luggage. THe 75 per cent discount and free return journey couldn't even bring him close to his truckload desire.
THe long series of cell talks that he engaged in prior to the approaching bus stands where he would plead and prod the authorities in and around the areas to get him the public support on the bus led some to suggest that he should do the rounds of the pay and use toilets at bus terminals as that is the place where the folks untraceable for months could be traced. For the duration he stayed inside and the men he tried to trace led to a series of revolts as he was told to pay for the loos he attended. Finally he settled at the wheels and resigned to the fate of a solitary stray guy straying enough to board the bus at one place only to disembark at the next one to realise his luggage was lying unattended at the point of origination. It was over seven hrs to this longer-than-imagined commute and this time the man was on a long distance call. A truckload of people from Kyrgyzstan would be visiting the seas of Tamil Nadu and Kerala he was told.
THe cell delivered moments and navigation of the bus were the twin objectives he was tasked with followed by jotting down the details. Of the men,women and worn out babes with the foreseeable ailments they could suffer from to the weight of the pieces they would bring along. Details to clinical proportion, he agreed to ferry them from the State of Kerala to the State of Karnataka with a stopover in Tamil Nadu on the condition that the baggage would be boarded in a different vehicle. Sensing he had won a battle bigger than Nagercoil and a hangover that could last beyond this year, he offered to the decreasing by the hour janata on the bus the need to ferry them and their members a free ride to places of their choice in the States Of Kerala and Karnataka. He even propositioned them the free meals provided none carried any luggage.
Well, the likes of me were clearly out of his frame and sight and i was endowed with the task of locating his half brother whom he lost in the celebrations of the Thanjavur Temple 30 years ago. The awesome luggage that the brothers carried to the awesome celebrations made them lose sight of the awesome ladies that were in attendance. A celebrations that saw the two brothers drift apart under the growing weightage of luggage they lumbered with.
As the millennium cebrations are underway this time the chances of the two meeting are less than remote. AS powers-that-be including Karuna have already given the temple celebrations a miss given the luggage they have to strut around from places as distant as Chennai, Trichy, Kanniyakumari and Thiruvanthapuram, the word is out that others may too give the feat a miss as luggage is too hard to bear. But for me the chance to locate the lost brother could well materialse if i pace up and down the States of Kerala and Karnataka with the noble belief that there could be lurking another truckload trendsetter who has a distaste for luggage and a clear fetish for letter K.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The rally that could have been avoided
On the way from Nagercoil someone in the bus lost his cell and i lost my peace/piece of mind. It would probably take ages for sanity to get restored in entirety. Never in the history of my existence have i ever cared to attend a political rally in the hindi heartland what to talk about my showing solidarity for the Marxists/Trinamool Congress in the State of West Bengal. And here i pitch for a rally for which all modes of transport were out of view and sight for over one hour before the ageing patriarch hit the road. You are literally ripped apart when you have to try three different modes of transport to reach close to the venue and literally gasping for breath when the centre of activity is full 2 kms away. Who forced you to mark your presence for a rally with which you can hardly identify by any stretch of imagination. The crowd began to disperse even before the well groomed leader could arrive (well the ageing patriarch arrived well past 6 and his extended family had arrived close to 6) and the gates had been shut on the large audience which had been waiting since morning. Probably they had a large to count on the leader and his followers. I, for one, won't step outside to get identified with a party with whom i have had no frail association what to talk about seeking its membership.
It was a decision made in haste and to be regretted for decades provided i get a call from the masses to address them in neat Tamil, which in all probability would happen once the new crop begins to curry favours with the audience which has begun to show respect to entities from the Hindi Hearland aspiring to hit the Tamilland. It was a rally meant for those who came in limos,trucks, trollies and trawlers and geared to sway the audience with the Tamil they could babble on for hrs. Not a word to get a sense of it was a senseless decision given my sensitivity to stay away from places that have no public transport and even if one that arrives after senseless wait you can't secure a seat as fisticuffs have already broken over the cell lost and the police station missed to lodge a report. It would have been better to get cuddled up in the room you occupy for the past few days than step out for a SENseless proposition where even the greying crowd won't make you stay a minute longer.
It was a decision made in haste and to be regretted for decades provided i get a call from the masses to address them in neat Tamil, which in all probability would happen once the new crop begins to curry favours with the audience which has begun to show respect to entities from the Hindi Hearland aspiring to hit the Tamilland. It was a rally meant for those who came in limos,trucks, trollies and trawlers and geared to sway the audience with the Tamil they could babble on for hrs. Not a word to get a sense of it was a senseless decision given my sensitivity to stay away from places that have no public transport and even if one that arrives after senseless wait you can't secure a seat as fisticuffs have already broken over the cell lost and the police station missed to lodge a report. It would have been better to get cuddled up in the room you occupy for the past few days than step out for a SENseless proposition where even the greying crowd won't make you stay a minute longer.
Bow or not to bow: The rally at Nagercoil by Puneet Rajhans
Bow or not to bow: The Rally at Nagercoil
As i make enquiries about going to Nagercoil and the mode of transport i should seek, some suggest that they have the wherewithal to transport me to another world and some responding by admonishing me for seeking a favour to go to Nagercoil when million others have gone on foot. Probably they disappeared to Nagercoil when million others were sleeping/waking alternate hours.
Truckloads of men, women and followers (different shape sizes and colour) are going to Nagercoil to hear the assorted lot. The lot that is going to open their mouth before an audience that would shrink, trim and grow each passing minute include Karuna, Stalin, Alagiri and Kanimozhi. They would speak for a period not known yet but enough to cast aspersions on those who are willing to turn turncoats come assembly polls given their slide in the rating in the party machinery.
Here the leaders would take a pledge, narrate a tale and probably obfuscate the audience by harmlessly suggesting that another five year outing is on the cards. What the leaders are going to speak about is how they have together with their will and wherewithal withstood the challenges of the hostile regimes at the Centre and the string of demands they are going to put forward before the Centre to see them they stay united forever. Probably it would be to do with the succession line to be put in place where enough clarity is yet to be established; the baton should pass on to the Deputy when the challenge from a Central Minister has not been adequately addressed. Further they would speak about the times and trepidation that we live in and the urgency to foist the black and red flags on either side of the roads when enough trees have not been planted.
The party cadres would take the pledge that as and when these flags are uprooted they would be replaced by saplings that would be painted black and red when it has secured its full growth. Of all the pledges and directions that this meet would witness, there would be another understanding between the cadres and party honchos that for a meet of this scale and tribulation (pangs of trauma that the common man is subjected to), the industrial houses need to open their coffers failing which the black and red flags would be hoisted at every conceivable place of freedom. Of freedom and for the overwhelming need to stay alive to such proceedings of future, the industrial houses of desire and growth would have to heed to the suggestions of the party at the helm.
AS for the other rally the party would be keeping a close watch on is at the dalal street as it has the potential to sweep aside the rally at Nagercoil given its unchecked ascension. Precisely on that count this rally has been fixed at 6 in the evening when the street is empty and dalals have disappeared for good. For this rally no travel advisory has been issued which actually paves the way for a large contingent to turn out and bow their head before the reigning kings and queens.
As for me the decision to bow would be entirely linked to the crowd that hasn't greyed enough to disappoint me.
As i make enquiries about going to Nagercoil and the mode of transport i should seek, some suggest that they have the wherewithal to transport me to another world and some responding by admonishing me for seeking a favour to go to Nagercoil when million others have gone on foot. Probably they disappeared to Nagercoil when million others were sleeping/waking alternate hours.
Truckloads of men, women and followers (different shape sizes and colour) are going to Nagercoil to hear the assorted lot. The lot that is going to open their mouth before an audience that would shrink, trim and grow each passing minute include Karuna, Stalin, Alagiri and Kanimozhi. They would speak for a period not known yet but enough to cast aspersions on those who are willing to turn turncoats come assembly polls given their slide in the rating in the party machinery.
Here the leaders would take a pledge, narrate a tale and probably obfuscate the audience by harmlessly suggesting that another five year outing is on the cards. What the leaders are going to speak about is how they have together with their will and wherewithal withstood the challenges of the hostile regimes at the Centre and the string of demands they are going to put forward before the Centre to see them they stay united forever. Probably it would be to do with the succession line to be put in place where enough clarity is yet to be established; the baton should pass on to the Deputy when the challenge from a Central Minister has not been adequately addressed. Further they would speak about the times and trepidation that we live in and the urgency to foist the black and red flags on either side of the roads when enough trees have not been planted.
The party cadres would take the pledge that as and when these flags are uprooted they would be replaced by saplings that would be painted black and red when it has secured its full growth. Of all the pledges and directions that this meet would witness, there would be another understanding between the cadres and party honchos that for a meet of this scale and tribulation (pangs of trauma that the common man is subjected to), the industrial houses need to open their coffers failing which the black and red flags would be hoisted at every conceivable place of freedom. Of freedom and for the overwhelming need to stay alive to such proceedings of future, the industrial houses of desire and growth would have to heed to the suggestions of the party at the helm.
AS for the other rally the party would be keeping a close watch on is at the dalal street as it has the potential to sweep aside the rally at Nagercoil given its unchecked ascension. Precisely on that count this rally has been fixed at 6 in the evening when the street is empty and dalals have disappeared for good. For this rally no travel advisory has been issued which actually paves the way for a large contingent to turn out and bow their head before the reigning kings and queens.
As for me the decision to bow would be entirely linked to the crowd that hasn't greyed enough to disappoint me.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Party meet that failed to take the man on board by Puneet Rajhans
The Party meet that failed to take the man on board
At Mahadanapuram as i wait for the public transport that would transport me to KKRI, a Tamil guy wants to familiarise me with the environment around. I settle for this round of conversation by suggesting him that i would respond in the language best understood by a large majority here. He is quite offended by the sight of goons and guys going to mark their attendance for a private-cum-public rally of the ruling party. Explaining his dilemma, he went on to elaborate on how he made innumerable visits to the party office with the plea that he should be taken under their fold. "Sir, the experience has been traumatising enough since none of the visits led to my membership in the party and i resigned to the fate of running a motor workshop."
As the bus began to move, he even showed the workshop on the way where he slugs it out day in day out, seasonal viruses and floods notwithstanding. His innumerable visits reminds me of my two failed visits to Nagercoil in the past 12 hrs to understand the depth and deepening bond between the party and the cadres. Probably the bus stuffed with the greying crowd won't settle for giving space to someone who wants to have the first hand account of the Dravidian histrionics. Quite intimidated by their train of thought i disembark and prefer to wait for the return journey in the company of a Tamil and other souls from neighbouring states. Probably the innumerable visits to the party office and the red and black flag that he failed to carry along that marred his chances to his membership aspiration. Here between Nagercoil and 20 kms away there are no less than 10 million red and black party flags and other cutouts, banners and billboards of big booming and greying leaders which aim to keep the party alive for a period that is yet to be put in black and white. Against the tsunami of cutouts one discovers the odd outing of a big hoarding explaining in detail the exemplary punishment that would be handed out if one dares to carry plastic cups and carry bags in the state of Tamil Nadu. Since the rally meant to arrest the diminishing returns of leaders and their followers would see in plenty the appearance of these plastics in all shapes sizes and colour, what could be the best argument that the party can put forward. THe party honchos could claim that since it is a public rally meant to awaken the public of our need to stay and bite together, the ban on plastics is entirely uncalled for. Probably for these public rallies where speeches are long and the longevity of the leaders yet to be defined, the plastics get a new lease of life with their mass usage by the masses. Had the Tamil guy who has been shunted to the world of motor workshop had a frail association with plastics, he could well have an outside chance of making it to the party establishment with the firm instructions to engage in the insider trading job, which he can hardly lay his hands on given the low returns the workshop provides.
As the commute gets over, i think of hitting another state with another public rally that would give me a fair idea of who all can get on board when the employment avenues are shrinking by the day given the conflicting reports on growth projections (probably it would be tamed sooner than later) for the future. As for the public transport, this time round i would settle for a mini taxi that would have a party cadre at the wheels.
At Mahadanapuram as i wait for the public transport that would transport me to KKRI, a Tamil guy wants to familiarise me with the environment around. I settle for this round of conversation by suggesting him that i would respond in the language best understood by a large majority here. He is quite offended by the sight of goons and guys going to mark their attendance for a private-cum-public rally of the ruling party. Explaining his dilemma, he went on to elaborate on how he made innumerable visits to the party office with the plea that he should be taken under their fold. "Sir, the experience has been traumatising enough since none of the visits led to my membership in the party and i resigned to the fate of running a motor workshop."
As the bus began to move, he even showed the workshop on the way where he slugs it out day in day out, seasonal viruses and floods notwithstanding. His innumerable visits reminds me of my two failed visits to Nagercoil in the past 12 hrs to understand the depth and deepening bond between the party and the cadres. Probably the bus stuffed with the greying crowd won't settle for giving space to someone who wants to have the first hand account of the Dravidian histrionics. Quite intimidated by their train of thought i disembark and prefer to wait for the return journey in the company of a Tamil and other souls from neighbouring states. Probably the innumerable visits to the party office and the red and black flag that he failed to carry along that marred his chances to his membership aspiration. Here between Nagercoil and 20 kms away there are no less than 10 million red and black party flags and other cutouts, banners and billboards of big booming and greying leaders which aim to keep the party alive for a period that is yet to be put in black and white. Against the tsunami of cutouts one discovers the odd outing of a big hoarding explaining in detail the exemplary punishment that would be handed out if one dares to carry plastic cups and carry bags in the state of Tamil Nadu. Since the rally meant to arrest the diminishing returns of leaders and their followers would see in plenty the appearance of these plastics in all shapes sizes and colour, what could be the best argument that the party can put forward. THe party honchos could claim that since it is a public rally meant to awaken the public of our need to stay and bite together, the ban on plastics is entirely uncalled for. Probably for these public rallies where speeches are long and the longevity of the leaders yet to be defined, the plastics get a new lease of life with their mass usage by the masses. Had the Tamil guy who has been shunted to the world of motor workshop had a frail association with plastics, he could well have an outside chance of making it to the party establishment with the firm instructions to engage in the insider trading job, which he can hardly lay his hands on given the low returns the workshop provides.
As the commute gets over, i think of hitting another state with another public rally that would give me a fair idea of who all can get on board when the employment avenues are shrinking by the day given the conflicting reports on growth projections (probably it would be tamed sooner than later) for the future. As for the public transport, this time round i would settle for a mini taxi that would have a party cadre at the wheels.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Lost-and-traced- brother and the safari suit men by Puneet Rajhans
Lost-and-traced- brother and the safari suit men
Adjacent to the seashore i spot a man giving a running commentary on all those who are visiting the precincts of a temple and stepping out later. His commentary are in neat Tamil interspersed with Mandarin the language the School Minister wants to propogate for the simple fact that he has traced his lost brother in the Middle Kingdom. First it was Ramesh whose anxiety and commitment to espouse the cause of Chinese businessmen who had long left to be paranoid about China's rules and wanted the same from India to shed its share of paranoia on China. Largely Ramesh was speaking for Chinese investors who had long ceased to be petty and had broadbased their area of operations. Ramesh made his counterpart know that he lost his brother (Jai Jai Sandesh) in the Big India-China bonhomie-turned- mayhem of the '50s and '60s.
Now lawyer-turned-Mandarin draped Minister wants India to launch a frontal and broadbased operations on learning the nuances of Mandarin and fill all vacant teaching posts on the same on an immediate basis.
While the man on the cell too wants to trace his brother whom he lost last week while strolling near the seashore - and all his commentary , up and running, are meant to instigate others to follow his trail. While this trail looks somnolent compared to the trail of vehicles that glide past me. One cop tells me that the convoy of 26 vehicles are doing a rehearsal for the Son of the Soil Stalin who is expected any moment to drop the bombshell on who all are his arch-rivals who need to be shown the door. The meeting is in Nagercoil and all walkie talkie are being tested 20 kms away in Kanniyakumari. Perhaps each cop has been told to pass any amount of information (hard to get) on the Son of the Soil's movement so that they are battleready for the thick audience that would line the streets once his convoy has been spotted.
As these movements and counter movements take place there are dozens and multiplying every hour safari suit draped personnel , too with the walkie talkie, talking about how long they waited for this grand moment to come when the upcoming leader would cause enough uprising when he begins his tryst with the land where the big saint meditated for three consecutive days. Well the meditation exercise the party cadres would be subjected to is in Nagercoil - and what would be going through their mind post meditation-cum-sycophancy sessions are yet to be known.
But i can't overlook the fact that there are dozen other men with the mirror to their face , probing the possibility of their looks being ferocious enough to tame their opponents whom they battle it out every alternate Sunday. Some even holding mirror to their face with the faint hope that post undeclared sessions of facials they look charming enough to see the abject surrender of the women they woo.
As the mirror adjudged personalities and safari suit clad personnel bump into each other at different tea stalls of the town, the news comes in that the man tagged to the cell delivered commentary has just found his lost brother. He has been traced to Sri Lanka, the nation whose trade and tryst with China knows no bounds.
With little knowledge of Mandarin, he found enough support in Colombo amongst Chinese personnel whom he bumped in while searching for morning meals. And they moved heaven and earth to send him back to India with the hope that he would prevail on all the lost and traced brothers and sisters to give a shot at Mandarin.
Learning about this episode the cops on walkie talkie informed the insiders in the inside ring of SoS that the China tsunami would hit the coastal districts of Tamil Nadu soon.This leads to a renewed rehearsal of vehicles which has doubled to 52 and pacing up and down the streets of KKRI. Well cutouts of Annadurai, sons and daughters of DMK patriarch hog the limelight of the temple town there have been instances where the black and red flag of the party has been uprooted. The party bosses have asked the cadres to look out for those with Mongoloid features and speaking halting Mandarin. Besides, SoS has given clear instructions to test the soil to know why it could not stand the flags for the period it was supposed to. He had a line of communication for his safari suit men.Once the meet in Nagercoil is over, you need to register for Mandarin language and bring out the truth behind the uprooting of party flags.
As for Amma, she has had enough of China and rising commitment episodes at the back of her mind given the string of lawyers she consults for apportionate and disapportionate assests case. And the commitment these guys have for China given one from their fraternity having come out with revelations (of China and for China) which were close to his heart and never revealed since 2004 when he became an MP.
Those backing the last year crowned School Minister believe his fondness for China's language and lunacy is also to do with his attempt to figure out how they hack into others sites.
With Mandarin under the belt, the Indian class could well pass on the secrets of hacking and faking to the world establishments at large and thereby stop them in their tracks to be the Solitary World Power which China intend to declare by 2030 given the fact that quarter of the world would have submerged by then as the Climate Today and Tomorrow studies portend. Probably this was the report that Ramesh shared with China and assured that even if quarter-hoped-and-half-desired world goes under water, China would be spared given its commitment to not let the numbers speak for it; probably the population numbers it has halted and the one the other Asian Giant is overflowing with. It was precisely the climate report that Ramesh shared that finally led to the series of disturbances back home and the latest fad of Minister prompts the common man to think that an all -party meet would be called soon to discuss and deliberate on China and Chinese chicks.
Adjacent to the seashore i spot a man giving a running commentary on all those who are visiting the precincts of a temple and stepping out later. His commentary are in neat Tamil interspersed with Mandarin the language the School Minister wants to propogate for the simple fact that he has traced his lost brother in the Middle Kingdom. First it was Ramesh whose anxiety and commitment to espouse the cause of Chinese businessmen who had long left to be paranoid about China's rules and wanted the same from India to shed its share of paranoia on China. Largely Ramesh was speaking for Chinese investors who had long ceased to be petty and had broadbased their area of operations. Ramesh made his counterpart know that he lost his brother (Jai Jai Sandesh) in the Big India-China bonhomie-turned- mayhem of the '50s and '60s.
Now lawyer-turned-Mandarin draped Minister wants India to launch a frontal and broadbased operations on learning the nuances of Mandarin and fill all vacant teaching posts on the same on an immediate basis.
While the man on the cell too wants to trace his brother whom he lost last week while strolling near the seashore - and all his commentary , up and running, are meant to instigate others to follow his trail. While this trail looks somnolent compared to the trail of vehicles that glide past me. One cop tells me that the convoy of 26 vehicles are doing a rehearsal for the Son of the Soil Stalin who is expected any moment to drop the bombshell on who all are his arch-rivals who need to be shown the door. The meeting is in Nagercoil and all walkie talkie are being tested 20 kms away in Kanniyakumari. Perhaps each cop has been told to pass any amount of information (hard to get) on the Son of the Soil's movement so that they are battleready for the thick audience that would line the streets once his convoy has been spotted.
As these movements and counter movements take place there are dozens and multiplying every hour safari suit draped personnel , too with the walkie talkie, talking about how long they waited for this grand moment to come when the upcoming leader would cause enough uprising when he begins his tryst with the land where the big saint meditated for three consecutive days. Well the meditation exercise the party cadres would be subjected to is in Nagercoil - and what would be going through their mind post meditation-cum-sycophancy sessions are yet to be known.
But i can't overlook the fact that there are dozen other men with the mirror to their face , probing the possibility of their looks being ferocious enough to tame their opponents whom they battle it out every alternate Sunday. Some even holding mirror to their face with the faint hope that post undeclared sessions of facials they look charming enough to see the abject surrender of the women they woo.
As the mirror adjudged personalities and safari suit clad personnel bump into each other at different tea stalls of the town, the news comes in that the man tagged to the cell delivered commentary has just found his lost brother. He has been traced to Sri Lanka, the nation whose trade and tryst with China knows no bounds.
With little knowledge of Mandarin, he found enough support in Colombo amongst Chinese personnel whom he bumped in while searching for morning meals. And they moved heaven and earth to send him back to India with the hope that he would prevail on all the lost and traced brothers and sisters to give a shot at Mandarin.
Learning about this episode the cops on walkie talkie informed the insiders in the inside ring of SoS that the China tsunami would hit the coastal districts of Tamil Nadu soon.This leads to a renewed rehearsal of vehicles which has doubled to 52 and pacing up and down the streets of KKRI. Well cutouts of Annadurai, sons and daughters of DMK patriarch hog the limelight of the temple town there have been instances where the black and red flag of the party has been uprooted. The party bosses have asked the cadres to look out for those with Mongoloid features and speaking halting Mandarin. Besides, SoS has given clear instructions to test the soil to know why it could not stand the flags for the period it was supposed to. He had a line of communication for his safari suit men.Once the meet in Nagercoil is over, you need to register for Mandarin language and bring out the truth behind the uprooting of party flags.
As for Amma, she has had enough of China and rising commitment episodes at the back of her mind given the string of lawyers she consults for apportionate and disapportionate assests case. And the commitment these guys have for China given one from their fraternity having come out with revelations (of China and for China) which were close to his heart and never revealed since 2004 when he became an MP.
Those backing the last year crowned School Minister believe his fondness for China's language and lunacy is also to do with his attempt to figure out how they hack into others sites.
With Mandarin under the belt, the Indian class could well pass on the secrets of hacking and faking to the world establishments at large and thereby stop them in their tracks to be the Solitary World Power which China intend to declare by 2030 given the fact that quarter of the world would have submerged by then as the Climate Today and Tomorrow studies portend. Probably this was the report that Ramesh shared with China and assured that even if quarter-hoped-and-half-desired world goes under water, China would be spared given its commitment to not let the numbers speak for it; probably the population numbers it has halted and the one the other Asian Giant is overflowing with. It was precisely the climate report that Ramesh shared that finally led to the series of disturbances back home and the latest fad of Minister prompts the common man to think that an all -party meet would be called soon to discuss and deliberate on China and Chinese chicks.
All-party meet and the 12th man by Puneet Rajhans
All-party meet and the 12th man
What is this all-party meeting and who all are supposed to blast their way to these time honoured and agenda adhered meets? There are big time speakers and a long list of listeners to complete the proceedings. It normally begins with the lighting of the traditional lamp and post customary exchanges and pleasantries everybody gets to the serious business of nodding and dozing off as the need of the hour demands. Only one agenda is taken up. Given the fact that representatives from major, minor and mofussil parties attend the meet, one agenda at a time is the mantra.As each gets an equal and opportune moment to present himself/herself before the reigning kings and queens, it opens with a lot who were dethroned by the current administrators blasting the present regime in a state, followed by those at the helm in all-praise mode for their efforts to continue in this unforeseen state of affairs and the prospective ones who fancy their chances at some time stressing on the need to move on. Each and every soul attempting to show that his heart and soul is with the threadbare discussions underway thereby prolonging the agony of the participants and of those serving tea and coffee. Some meets even break for lunch/dinner.
The common ailment dogging such meets are that no sooner the representative of a party has spoken up he dozes off only to be shaken up when the time has come to exit. If the duration of the meet isn't long enough some bare their heart during lunch/dinner breaks, literally deranging the host with suggestions and windfall gains that would accrue if the authority take recourse to their scheme of designs. For the moment, these parties are seasonal in nature, having been out of bounds for those adorning seasonal glasses; something that was not to be seen in the previous editions. THese seasonal glasses are a torment for others for the simple fact that the one with them have ulterior motives up their sleeves and no amount of coercion would make them part them.
As this round of all-party meet got over the overwhelming demand was to convert them into all-sections and all-community meets.Where not just the politico but the biggies of corporate world, bollywood, sanitation department and strike and stir union heads would be invited to hear and heed. In such an all-weather friendly meet it is believed that saints from different worlds would rub shoulders with Bo'wood hearthrobs. The Bollywood in particular would seek the locations in the Kashmir Valley out of bounds for aam janata to be accessed by them for prolonged shoots thus giving the Kashmir centric package the boost it aspired for. The corporates would seek more active participation of greying crowd of Bollywood in a large number of endorsements thus handing out on platter an invitation to the politicos to associate with their products.
As for the likes of us, we too have been getting invites for such meets in places as distant as Kazipet and Kaziranga. As the 12th man to the proceedings we are supposed to oversee the preparation of tea/coffee and ensure the washrooms are up and running. As long as the meet was confined to the politicos, the rush to the washroom was unbelievable and with some staying put for the entire duration. And this resulted in their being marked absent for the meet. To preempt such ruling from the powers-that-be, these politicos do rush to the washrooms now only to leave soon. The state of the loos are a reminder of the last time you visited the bus terminal relieving centres. Early exit from washrooms has their unbuttoned shirts and pants with the fly thick and wide open. It's an embarrassment for the ruling junta when they look at the state of affairs. To cut such possibilities they are attempting to convert the present format to all sections meet.
Changed format or no format we would continue to skip them as long as we are not listed in the playing contingent rather dismissed as 12th man to oversee the washrooms and suggest how better they can be maintained. It's precisely for that the sanitation heads would be invited for future meets.
What is this all-party meeting and who all are supposed to blast their way to these time honoured and agenda adhered meets? There are big time speakers and a long list of listeners to complete the proceedings. It normally begins with the lighting of the traditional lamp and post customary exchanges and pleasantries everybody gets to the serious business of nodding and dozing off as the need of the hour demands. Only one agenda is taken up. Given the fact that representatives from major, minor and mofussil parties attend the meet, one agenda at a time is the mantra.As each gets an equal and opportune moment to present himself/herself before the reigning kings and queens, it opens with a lot who were dethroned by the current administrators blasting the present regime in a state, followed by those at the helm in all-praise mode for their efforts to continue in this unforeseen state of affairs and the prospective ones who fancy their chances at some time stressing on the need to move on. Each and every soul attempting to show that his heart and soul is with the threadbare discussions underway thereby prolonging the agony of the participants and of those serving tea and coffee. Some meets even break for lunch/dinner.
The common ailment dogging such meets are that no sooner the representative of a party has spoken up he dozes off only to be shaken up when the time has come to exit. If the duration of the meet isn't long enough some bare their heart during lunch/dinner breaks, literally deranging the host with suggestions and windfall gains that would accrue if the authority take recourse to their scheme of designs. For the moment, these parties are seasonal in nature, having been out of bounds for those adorning seasonal glasses; something that was not to be seen in the previous editions. THese seasonal glasses are a torment for others for the simple fact that the one with them have ulterior motives up their sleeves and no amount of coercion would make them part them.
As this round of all-party meet got over the overwhelming demand was to convert them into all-sections and all-community meets.Where not just the politico but the biggies of corporate world, bollywood, sanitation department and strike and stir union heads would be invited to hear and heed. In such an all-weather friendly meet it is believed that saints from different worlds would rub shoulders with Bo'wood hearthrobs. The Bollywood in particular would seek the locations in the Kashmir Valley out of bounds for aam janata to be accessed by them for prolonged shoots thus giving the Kashmir centric package the boost it aspired for. The corporates would seek more active participation of greying crowd of Bollywood in a large number of endorsements thus handing out on platter an invitation to the politicos to associate with their products.
As for the likes of us, we too have been getting invites for such meets in places as distant as Kazipet and Kaziranga. As the 12th man to the proceedings we are supposed to oversee the preparation of tea/coffee and ensure the washrooms are up and running. As long as the meet was confined to the politicos, the rush to the washroom was unbelievable and with some staying put for the entire duration. And this resulted in their being marked absent for the meet. To preempt such ruling from the powers-that-be, these politicos do rush to the washrooms now only to leave soon. The state of the loos are a reminder of the last time you visited the bus terminal relieving centres. Early exit from washrooms has their unbuttoned shirts and pants with the fly thick and wide open. It's an embarrassment for the ruling junta when they look at the state of affairs. To cut such possibilities they are attempting to convert the present format to all sections meet.
Changed format or no format we would continue to skip them as long as we are not listed in the playing contingent rather dismissed as 12th man to oversee the washrooms and suggest how better they can be maintained. It's precisely for that the sanitation heads would be invited for future meets.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Three gone one to go
As i attempt to take a return journey to the place of my stay, i am unnerved by the sighting of a vehicle sporting the flag of the country. Tailing that is one embossed with VIP Escort followed by two other vehicles that have cops bundled in it. A few minutes later another Inspector of Police vehicle follows them. Probably the High Ranking Bureaucrat, Business Honcho, Man of the Moment or a Minister could be in it. Since it had the flag it had to be the politico. Probably the Minister of the day (he could well be asked to put in his papers given the temerity to visit the temple town and address a press meet which he has been barred from doing so) wants to visit the seashore and take stock of the situation following Ganesha idol (all made from plaster of paris) immersion the previous day. He wants to look far and wide to spot any idol floating and see to it that the sea has recovered well enough to let the vessels, big and small, move on. Probably for the past three months the Minister hasn't had a Press briefing. He has been ticked off for meeting the Press on issues that have been threatening his existence following the three marriages he stumbled on prior to joining politics. Post political initiation his series of flings here and there has been noticed by his three wives who have staged physical demonstration at police headquarters to draw focus to their plight. And his press meets off and on have been geared to kick his side of the story and how he has been hauled and hounded by his three deviyas. Here by visiting the seashore he wants to build the required tempo to hold a press conference (all print and tvwallahs have been given enough booty to cover it) where he would impress upon the aam admi to do away with plaster of paris and instead invoke pulp to give the environment the much breathing space. The same breathing space that he seeks from his deviyas. At the press meet he would have enough fodder for TVwallahs to play on for days together and nights forever on an issue that they naturally lap on. He would take this opportunity to introduce the fourth element in his life much credited for his ascent to the Cabinet. He would tell the media audience to not throttle the voice of the new lady in his life who hails from a humble background and has stood by him and nursed his wounds ever since he started addressing the press conferences and the different pills he had to take following an uncomfortable barrage of questions and the fisticuffs that followed later. Having introduced the new element he would simply head towards Nagercoil to impress upon the party patriarch that he doesn't want to offend him by taking one extra matrimonial pursuit under his belt. He would try to justify the necessity of the new beginning in his life and how he hopes to break the shackles of the trio who have not only captured his government bungalow but also seized the bank accounts in and outside the country. The uncontrolled visits of the trio to Switzerland has been giving sleepless nights to him. To cut them short he has decided to declare a share of his ill gotten wealth and thereby win reprieve from the authorities concerned.
As things appeared to look settle down following this line of action, my thoughts on why the VIPs don't have a tag line on the windscreen, suggesting the occupancy period of the Chair(position in the government). Probably that would make the aam admi to maro a salam if he has been a veteran of sorts instead of being jeered and booted whenever their vehicles glide past us. Precisely for this very reason the fourth Inspector of Police vehicle followed the Minister later not realising earlier that this man had longer political longevity than his predecessors.
As for souls like us, the windscreen of the vehicles these politicos take and the ones following them should have enough descriptive material on their political and matrimonial alliances . And the one who has taken the fourth woman under his belt stores enough chances for all those folks who have been brutally vandalised by vendors with whom they vowed to take their life to a new high at some point. Having been left on the way by their better half, the politicos of such shape, size and colour would take them under their wings by suggesting that they have a long list of acquaintances who have this pattern of taking old with the new in their shape of activities if the previous alliances were rocked by claims and counterclaims on infidelity and untamed appetite.
As i am told that the minister has agreed to address the aam admi through a press meet, the meet would take place at an undisclosed three star property given the unseasonal rains that lash the area and the unwelcome visits of the three deviyas who have the temerity to dismantle his much-desired date with the media. As for the trio the last unfulfilled wish is that the man at the centre of the storm could lessen the intensity by parting with the account number of his Swiss bank and other necessary details failing which he will have to part with the govt bungalow and his hard earned unaccounted income. Against this background, the Minister may have to settle for a five star outing with the new lady in tow to see his bill run into millions - and probably another case of being ticked off by the patriarch of the party who could well suggest that he had one less matrimonial pursuit than him but never at the cost of common man.
As events fold and unfold, the minister has just been told that his new arm candy-turned-better half has nine kids in tow; the entire baggage that makes him wonder whether this barter fabric of fourth element with nine kids is better than the continuous onslaught of the three deviyas who together have yet to cross the half way mark of bearing nine kids. The brooding on, this piece of news trickles in that the minister has been dropped from the Cabinet following his personal life schedules overshadowing the party meet in Nagercoil as all media guys and the aam janata have been keen to know more about the just-dropped Minister and his secrets to success than listen to the leaders babbling about their political foray.
Probably some day one needs to look at the business class-turned-liquor mafia-turned-cricket club patrons(A Fairly High Proportion),some sections of the media (Journos included) who have been spearheading its operations and never-tamed bureaucrats for their share of double/triple/foursome shades to their life. It is for the political space he takes that bashing of a politico gets a lease of life; there are innumerable other entities who have more than double take. Had the politico not been gliding past us with the flag he could well have been spared.
As things appeared to look settle down following this line of action, my thoughts on why the VIPs don't have a tag line on the windscreen, suggesting the occupancy period of the Chair(position in the government). Probably that would make the aam admi to maro a salam if he has been a veteran of sorts instead of being jeered and booted whenever their vehicles glide past us. Precisely for this very reason the fourth Inspector of Police vehicle followed the Minister later not realising earlier that this man had longer political longevity than his predecessors.
As for souls like us, the windscreen of the vehicles these politicos take and the ones following them should have enough descriptive material on their political and matrimonial alliances . And the one who has taken the fourth woman under his belt stores enough chances for all those folks who have been brutally vandalised by vendors with whom they vowed to take their life to a new high at some point. Having been left on the way by their better half, the politicos of such shape, size and colour would take them under their wings by suggesting that they have a long list of acquaintances who have this pattern of taking old with the new in their shape of activities if the previous alliances were rocked by claims and counterclaims on infidelity and untamed appetite.
As i am told that the minister has agreed to address the aam admi through a press meet, the meet would take place at an undisclosed three star property given the unseasonal rains that lash the area and the unwelcome visits of the three deviyas who have the temerity to dismantle his much-desired date with the media. As for the trio the last unfulfilled wish is that the man at the centre of the storm could lessen the intensity by parting with the account number of his Swiss bank and other necessary details failing which he will have to part with the govt bungalow and his hard earned unaccounted income. Against this background, the Minister may have to settle for a five star outing with the new lady in tow to see his bill run into millions - and probably another case of being ticked off by the patriarch of the party who could well suggest that he had one less matrimonial pursuit than him but never at the cost of common man.
As events fold and unfold, the minister has just been told that his new arm candy-turned-better half has nine kids in tow; the entire baggage that makes him wonder whether this barter fabric of fourth element with nine kids is better than the continuous onslaught of the three deviyas who together have yet to cross the half way mark of bearing nine kids. The brooding on, this piece of news trickles in that the minister has been dropped from the Cabinet following his personal life schedules overshadowing the party meet in Nagercoil as all media guys and the aam janata have been keen to know more about the just-dropped Minister and his secrets to success than listen to the leaders babbling about their political foray.
Probably some day one needs to look at the business class-turned-liquor mafia-turned-cricket club patrons(A Fairly High Proportion),some sections of the media (Journos included) who have been spearheading its operations and never-tamed bureaucrats for their share of double/triple/foursome shades to their life. It is for the political space he takes that bashing of a politico gets a lease of life; there are innumerable other entities who have more than double take. Had the politico not been gliding past us with the flag he could well have been spared.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Of billboards and networking sites by Puneet Rajhans
Of billboards and networking sites
On the way to Nagercoil there is the tsunami of billboards and welcome arches depicting the dedication of DMK patriarch Karunanidhi and his rich band of supporters to the ideology of C Annadurai. Well these billboards and welcome arches have pictures of Karunanidhi, sons Stalin and Alagiri, daughter Kanimozhi and other big time personalities of the DMK parivar. These billboards spell out the designs of the friends of DMK fraternity to what they intend to do for their followers and what they intend to push for to see their arch rivals out of frame and mind.
C Annadurai being the tallest leader of the Dravidian movement, the ADMK led by Jayalalitha also had her share of billboards on a scale and quantum less than DMK. Quite natural given the four-and-a-half year stint away from office. As these boards and arches take the public space and swipe at those who intend to take the credit for Anna's ideology, it doesn't stop the Amma from blasting the DMK regime for pursuing an agenda that would have never been close to Anna's heart. First point of hostility hints at all the big corruption practices that have come up in the recent past having imprints of ruling regime with ADMK workers yet to get a frail association with these range of activities. "In the past five years, the sand and granite quarrying has largely been done by DMK functionaries and liquor vends ably maintained by them with no worker of my party even being allowed to get to the kissing distance of such acts of high value transactions," Amma maintained.
"Second the party should be treated as a family and this what Anna stood for; yet the DMK honcho has promoted members of his family to different posts and positioning thereby letting corruption run deep in the family with no outsider getting a hint of the ongoings."
As she vowed for the umpteenth time to dislodge the DMK govt, Alagiri quite buoyed by the opening of the new terminal at Madurai Airport and exchanges that followed later declared that the DMK combine would wrap up all the 234 seats in the ensuing elections. What he aimed to suggest was that none of the seats would see a contest, come what may. Intimidating tactics would be employed in a way that the liquor vends that have come up during his party's regime would be fully utilised with liquor flowing uninterrupted for all those supporters who would make it a life and death issue for opponents who ever willed to contest. Most of the 234 seats that DMK and ita alliance partners would run for would have unopposed election, with results known even before polls having taken place. His ruling on 234 seats is much more than the combined strength of all pre poll,post poll and high and low poll surveys that these seats would be subjected to. In effect, he has made the poll surveys infructuous by his unforeseen and untamed ruling. Thus for all the liquor vends and their promoters positioning as candidates of the ruling block could well see a unilateral contest, given the pronouncements from the headquarters.
To fortify his resolve, the men and machine at his disposal would deliver enough cash and threat between now and poll announcement dates to see to it that the prospective opposition candidates maintain a fair distance between their party's diktat and their ability to contest. The cash delivered at home would be enough to put their parties to shame and threats intimidating to the extent of entire family ceasing to exist.
As billboards hogged the limelight this time round, similar billboards would be placed at the vantage points of the state districts spelling out the price to be paid for the decision to contest and the cash rewards to be won if indoor outing has been preferred.
As these permutations and combinations on threats and counter threats were being worked out, Amma decided to retire at her place of residence with the belief that the Lok Sabha polls would precede the Assembly polls given the aversion of the Centre to the liquor lobbies of the State. The Centre has its own preferrred team of liquor lobbies; it strongly resents the fly by night liquor vendors of the State, who have appeared from nowhere in the past five years. Since Alagiri isn't comfortable in Hindi and English, the Centre has decided to dispatch an all party Tamil team to underscore the series of threats that the Centre can invoke in case the liquor vends are not reined in. To begin with, the Madurai airport could well see a freeze in its activities even before it has had its full-fledged operations, with the Centre suggesting that there is a foreign threat to dismantle the new structure.
This would be followed by closure of all big and small airports in the State. Once this happens Alagiri and company may well have to cool their heels in the State given the unscheduled delays the trains entering and exiting the State would be subjected to.
Once access to Delhi becomes next to nil, the Lower House could well pass a resolution suggesting that Alagiri has ceased to be a member of the House given his decision to stay away from the House to an undisclosed destination for an unspecified period. Following this there would be withdrawal of support to the Central Government and announcement of fresh polls which the Election Commission would dare to precede the TN Assembly polls faulting the tantrums of the state leaders for this untimely demise of the current Lok Sabha. With this the liquor vends of the State may well cease to exist and Madurai airport getting a new lease of life.
As these permutations and combinations were being discussed by Amma and her supporters who had all put on the reading glasses to have a clarity of view, she suggested that this time round ticket would be given on a priority basis to those with large followers in the sea-saw battlebook networking site. "They at least need to have 168-odd followers (each follower bringing truckload of followers whose name in the electoral list need not be mandatory given the poll machinery we have at our disposal this time)in the sea-saw battlebook, with each prospective candidate putting on the glasses to last through the polls. No blurred vision would do, " she maintained.
As they discussed and parted ways, she had a new visitor at her office. Failing to recognise him, the man introduced himself as Alagiri. Once he put on the glasses, Amma was able to place him. Alagiri pleaded his case before the all mighty Amma. "Madam, with the glases that i wore all these years i could not see through the designs of members of my extended family. Pa and Stalin have reached an agreement. As per the wishes of the High Command at home, Stalin would take over from Pa once polls get over. This understanding they reached following my unprovoked ruling that DMK combine would sweep all 234 seats with none left for the opponents. Thus the combined onslaught of Pa and Stalin is enough to send me to pack my bags. I have a humble suggestion to make. Take me on board as ordinary member of the party and few years down the line all your opponents would be biting the dust. "
Amma insisted that Alagiri should put on the glasses. He submitted that once polls are over he would do that. Amma was quite keen to figure out the High Command at DMK's place. "I couldn't figure out myself given the glases that i was wearing all these years. The High Command keeps changing season after season given the political equations at home." Amma insisted that Alagiri should register himself for the sea-saw battlebook site that gives you new friends and new ideas to live with. Amma coaxed him to sign for the site and see to it that followers cross at least 168 in the first month. "Not impossible. i have enough support in the liquor-cum-business trade and they would oblige me." At this point the two parted ways with Amma finally on line with the Janpath Ma on the changing equations in the first political family in the State.
P.S. This piece is not meant to offend anyone. This is out and out spoof.
On the way to Nagercoil there is the tsunami of billboards and welcome arches depicting the dedication of DMK patriarch Karunanidhi and his rich band of supporters to the ideology of C Annadurai. Well these billboards and welcome arches have pictures of Karunanidhi, sons Stalin and Alagiri, daughter Kanimozhi and other big time personalities of the DMK parivar. These billboards spell out the designs of the friends of DMK fraternity to what they intend to do for their followers and what they intend to push for to see their arch rivals out of frame and mind.
C Annadurai being the tallest leader of the Dravidian movement, the ADMK led by Jayalalitha also had her share of billboards on a scale and quantum less than DMK. Quite natural given the four-and-a-half year stint away from office. As these boards and arches take the public space and swipe at those who intend to take the credit for Anna's ideology, it doesn't stop the Amma from blasting the DMK regime for pursuing an agenda that would have never been close to Anna's heart. First point of hostility hints at all the big corruption practices that have come up in the recent past having imprints of ruling regime with ADMK workers yet to get a frail association with these range of activities. "In the past five years, the sand and granite quarrying has largely been done by DMK functionaries and liquor vends ably maintained by them with no worker of my party even being allowed to get to the kissing distance of such acts of high value transactions," Amma maintained.
"Second the party should be treated as a family and this what Anna stood for; yet the DMK honcho has promoted members of his family to different posts and positioning thereby letting corruption run deep in the family with no outsider getting a hint of the ongoings."
As she vowed for the umpteenth time to dislodge the DMK govt, Alagiri quite buoyed by the opening of the new terminal at Madurai Airport and exchanges that followed later declared that the DMK combine would wrap up all the 234 seats in the ensuing elections. What he aimed to suggest was that none of the seats would see a contest, come what may. Intimidating tactics would be employed in a way that the liquor vends that have come up during his party's regime would be fully utilised with liquor flowing uninterrupted for all those supporters who would make it a life and death issue for opponents who ever willed to contest. Most of the 234 seats that DMK and ita alliance partners would run for would have unopposed election, with results known even before polls having taken place. His ruling on 234 seats is much more than the combined strength of all pre poll,post poll and high and low poll surveys that these seats would be subjected to. In effect, he has made the poll surveys infructuous by his unforeseen and untamed ruling. Thus for all the liquor vends and their promoters positioning as candidates of the ruling block could well see a unilateral contest, given the pronouncements from the headquarters.
To fortify his resolve, the men and machine at his disposal would deliver enough cash and threat between now and poll announcement dates to see to it that the prospective opposition candidates maintain a fair distance between their party's diktat and their ability to contest. The cash delivered at home would be enough to put their parties to shame and threats intimidating to the extent of entire family ceasing to exist.
As billboards hogged the limelight this time round, similar billboards would be placed at the vantage points of the state districts spelling out the price to be paid for the decision to contest and the cash rewards to be won if indoor outing has been preferred.
As these permutations and combinations on threats and counter threats were being worked out, Amma decided to retire at her place of residence with the belief that the Lok Sabha polls would precede the Assembly polls given the aversion of the Centre to the liquor lobbies of the State. The Centre has its own preferrred team of liquor lobbies; it strongly resents the fly by night liquor vendors of the State, who have appeared from nowhere in the past five years. Since Alagiri isn't comfortable in Hindi and English, the Centre has decided to dispatch an all party Tamil team to underscore the series of threats that the Centre can invoke in case the liquor vends are not reined in. To begin with, the Madurai airport could well see a freeze in its activities even before it has had its full-fledged operations, with the Centre suggesting that there is a foreign threat to dismantle the new structure.
This would be followed by closure of all big and small airports in the State. Once this happens Alagiri and company may well have to cool their heels in the State given the unscheduled delays the trains entering and exiting the State would be subjected to.
Once access to Delhi becomes next to nil, the Lower House could well pass a resolution suggesting that Alagiri has ceased to be a member of the House given his decision to stay away from the House to an undisclosed destination for an unspecified period. Following this there would be withdrawal of support to the Central Government and announcement of fresh polls which the Election Commission would dare to precede the TN Assembly polls faulting the tantrums of the state leaders for this untimely demise of the current Lok Sabha. With this the liquor vends of the State may well cease to exist and Madurai airport getting a new lease of life.
As these permutations and combinations were being discussed by Amma and her supporters who had all put on the reading glasses to have a clarity of view, she suggested that this time round ticket would be given on a priority basis to those with large followers in the sea-saw battlebook networking site. "They at least need to have 168-odd followers (each follower bringing truckload of followers whose name in the electoral list need not be mandatory given the poll machinery we have at our disposal this time)in the sea-saw battlebook, with each prospective candidate putting on the glasses to last through the polls. No blurred vision would do, " she maintained.
As they discussed and parted ways, she had a new visitor at her office. Failing to recognise him, the man introduced himself as Alagiri. Once he put on the glasses, Amma was able to place him. Alagiri pleaded his case before the all mighty Amma. "Madam, with the glases that i wore all these years i could not see through the designs of members of my extended family. Pa and Stalin have reached an agreement. As per the wishes of the High Command at home, Stalin would take over from Pa once polls get over. This understanding they reached following my unprovoked ruling that DMK combine would sweep all 234 seats with none left for the opponents. Thus the combined onslaught of Pa and Stalin is enough to send me to pack my bags. I have a humble suggestion to make. Take me on board as ordinary member of the party and few years down the line all your opponents would be biting the dust. "
Amma insisted that Alagiri should put on the glasses. He submitted that once polls are over he would do that. Amma was quite keen to figure out the High Command at DMK's place. "I couldn't figure out myself given the glases that i was wearing all these years. The High Command keeps changing season after season given the political equations at home." Amma insisted that Alagiri should register himself for the sea-saw battlebook site that gives you new friends and new ideas to live with. Amma coaxed him to sign for the site and see to it that followers cross at least 168 in the first month. "Not impossible. i have enough support in the liquor-cum-business trade and they would oblige me." At this point the two parted ways with Amma finally on line with the Janpath Ma on the changing equations in the first political family in the State.
P.S. This piece is not meant to offend anyone. This is out and out spoof.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Corruption slide: The side effects by Puneet Rajhans
Corruption slide: The side effects
India ranks 84 of the 180- odd countries in corruption perception index. That is a perception and not a reality. If we continue to persist with this perception that India would slide further and hit the three digit mark i.e. 100 and below that would precisely mean that the perception has pursued for long. The 100-and-below rank would see a large number of corruption cruising community to be enslaved with a grit determination that this slide continues with no interruptions. Would this slide mean that the different forms of commute and coexistence that we seek would see us confront the more brazen dispenser of faith and freedom cut us to size by getting a big share of our meagre income or the income which most of us even don't possess. Or the house layout or the different extensions we seek would see the existence of sleight of hand (municipalitywallah) resulting in a large cash outlay to these elements than anticipated.
It is the corruption and the perception that tails it makes the middle class guy who has been in the thick of the job market to do away with these adventures (as no amount of increments that he seeks and registers during his career fortified days would be sufficient to meet the demands of the extended family that is growing in shape and size) and thus seek an outing in the Himalayas.Or the guy yet to get to the job market may well tilt the perception of his parents by dumping the education stress he has piled on. By declaring his intent one fine morning that he is prepared to multitask all the chores of home and extended family as he wants to preserve the precious earnings of his parents.
Corruption hails from dawn to dusk with some settling for transactions beyond midnight hours as that is the prefered mahurat.
If you are at home for a considerable period lasting beyond seasonal flu and viruses, then chances are that there would be visits from electricity, waterwallah and all other such blokes who would impress upon you the metre is faulty or running much below the demands of the bosses in their departments and you need to replace them failing which the cash exchange is the sole route to salvation. Having done that, the day in day out tryst with the outside world would ensure the unchecked/untamed visits of loan dispenser at different life-geared spots (office, cafes, bus shelter, local train halts and airport guest centres) who would cast aspersions on you for not having tried loans of any shape and size to date. Coaxing and goading done, they would enslave you as loan taker with the promise to settle it ASAP. But this loan lust could well see you go past eternity to settle the claims and counter claims. As loan sharks abound in abundance, the corruption coasts to success.
The politico-cum-business-cum journo axis of indulgences does give corruption a new leverage. But that is reserved for those dispensing BIG notes, travelling business class and mating business lasses in business condominiums. Even for past,present and prospective journos, who latch on to a business jaunt to get the hospitality boost, the business commitments and exchanges last for unprobed and unspecified period .
To rest the corruption and perception debate, let's have one day of the 365 metamorphosed outings where we observe Big Beaming No No Corruption Day. Precisely on this day no calls on corruption would be entertained, no business visits allowed and no one would be stepping out to indulge in any form of transactions. All goods and services would have barter boast thus battering the nature of corruption and perception that tails it.
All for 24 hrs, this could well have a seasonal repeat thereby putting an unseasonal end to the taunt that honesty is nothing but the histrionics of the aam admi. Three cheers for this histrionic than the hustle and bustle of the business honcho who has the business-delivered journo and journo turned politico on his corruption cruise. If his site has been played with or his conversation fiddled with he is the first to tamper the rules of the trade. He gets the place of prominence by babbling about his endless acquisitions and propositions.
After all babbling about corruption and hoping for its longevity is the task the govt of the day is saddled with, given the multitasking operations have been taken over by sea pirates, the ever-evolving den for fly by night honchos.
India ranks 84 of the 180- odd countries in corruption perception index. That is a perception and not a reality. If we continue to persist with this perception that India would slide further and hit the three digit mark i.e. 100 and below that would precisely mean that the perception has pursued for long. The 100-and-below rank would see a large number of corruption cruising community to be enslaved with a grit determination that this slide continues with no interruptions. Would this slide mean that the different forms of commute and coexistence that we seek would see us confront the more brazen dispenser of faith and freedom cut us to size by getting a big share of our meagre income or the income which most of us even don't possess. Or the house layout or the different extensions we seek would see the existence of sleight of hand (municipalitywallah) resulting in a large cash outlay to these elements than anticipated.
It is the corruption and the perception that tails it makes the middle class guy who has been in the thick of the job market to do away with these adventures (as no amount of increments that he seeks and registers during his career fortified days would be sufficient to meet the demands of the extended family that is growing in shape and size) and thus seek an outing in the Himalayas.Or the guy yet to get to the job market may well tilt the perception of his parents by dumping the education stress he has piled on. By declaring his intent one fine morning that he is prepared to multitask all the chores of home and extended family as he wants to preserve the precious earnings of his parents.
Corruption hails from dawn to dusk with some settling for transactions beyond midnight hours as that is the prefered mahurat.
If you are at home for a considerable period lasting beyond seasonal flu and viruses, then chances are that there would be visits from electricity, waterwallah and all other such blokes who would impress upon you the metre is faulty or running much below the demands of the bosses in their departments and you need to replace them failing which the cash exchange is the sole route to salvation. Having done that, the day in day out tryst with the outside world would ensure the unchecked/untamed visits of loan dispenser at different life-geared spots (office, cafes, bus shelter, local train halts and airport guest centres) who would cast aspersions on you for not having tried loans of any shape and size to date. Coaxing and goading done, they would enslave you as loan taker with the promise to settle it ASAP. But this loan lust could well see you go past eternity to settle the claims and counter claims. As loan sharks abound in abundance, the corruption coasts to success.
The politico-cum-business-cum journo axis of indulgences does give corruption a new leverage. But that is reserved for those dispensing BIG notes, travelling business class and mating business lasses in business condominiums. Even for past,present and prospective journos, who latch on to a business jaunt to get the hospitality boost, the business commitments and exchanges last for unprobed and unspecified period .
To rest the corruption and perception debate, let's have one day of the 365 metamorphosed outings where we observe Big Beaming No No Corruption Day. Precisely on this day no calls on corruption would be entertained, no business visits allowed and no one would be stepping out to indulge in any form of transactions. All goods and services would have barter boast thus battering the nature of corruption and perception that tails it.
All for 24 hrs, this could well have a seasonal repeat thereby putting an unseasonal end to the taunt that honesty is nothing but the histrionics of the aam admi. Three cheers for this histrionic than the hustle and bustle of the business honcho who has the business-delivered journo and journo turned politico on his corruption cruise. If his site has been played with or his conversation fiddled with he is the first to tamper the rules of the trade. He gets the place of prominence by babbling about his endless acquisitions and propositions.
After all babbling about corruption and hoping for its longevity is the task the govt of the day is saddled with, given the multitasking operations have been taken over by sea pirates, the ever-evolving den for fly by night honchos.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Of Dhanuskodi and the long battle ahead by Puneet Rajhans
Of Dhanuskodi and the long battle ahead
AS the bus progressed towards Dhanuskodi,16 kms from RMM, i came across big billboards of marriage functions. Featuring couple, they also had pictures of invitees to the function. Probably they don't hand out wedding cards and the limited billboards at vantage points of the city serves their purpose. The bus wasn't choc-a-bloc. But the crowd interesting mix of young,old and very old. The one sitting ahead of me has had this drinking session some time back. The moment a woman who could not trace any other vacant seat sat next to him, he began to give her some therapy lessons. Both in their late 50s. He was more vocal and she an avid listener. The conversation between the two seems to suggest that they were enjoying every moment of the words spoken, glances exchanged and chemistry established. When the therapy lessons ranging from control over mind and desire to sexual compatibility in places of partnership and growth became less therapeutic and more traumatic the lady brought a premature end to her travails by abandoning the bus. The parting shot from her" my man at home gives me similar lessons. You outsider, you don't even stand an outside chance."
The man slighted he too abandons the bus at the next stop, a good 10 kms before he is supposed to get down. Probably the reading among the commuting public was he would try to reach out to the lady at her place of residence and hand out all lessons on wisdom and voyage even though they are past their prime.
When the bus finally halted at Munram Chatiram, Dhanuskodi was a good six kms away. The ramshackle vehicle i boarded, deboarded and finally boarded was the one that hadn't had service for ages and the the driver not replaced for decades. A close resemblance to the one that ferries petty thieves to the court. THe group that was headed for Dhanuskodi agreed to take me after i grudgingly agreed to the fare that looked to be too steep. The vehicle passed through a lot of slush and it took over 40 mins to reach Dhanuskodi. Here there were remnants of a church, railway statio, school and a Shiva temple which were razed to the ground in the cyclone of 1964. No effort had been made to restore the place; and probably none would come in future as well. If that tipsy man on the bus wasn't enough there was this Bong from a different world. Though he had just a lady in company he seemed to speak for the entire group ; for all those who would be boarding the bus and who all need to be left out. At Dhanuskodi he demanded that he would prefer to be washed away to reach Ram Setu if theren't any boats in sight.The Tamil guy thundered: "No sirrrrr, no one can go to Ram Setu. The boats are not there and washing away is highly objectionable."
Hailing from a state, sandwiched bt difficult states of BHAR and JKHND, the man persisted with his desire. Even the likes of Karunanidhi, Maran, Raja, Jaya haven't dared to visit Ram Setu. And he wants this fundamental right of his to be restored.
It was late in the evening and and with no lighting it was better to retreat than progress further. As i reached Munram Chatiram and waited for the govt bus for RMM as the group had already left by a private vehicle, i wondered whether my govt bus was any less than the private one. Because when the Bong heard that i would be taking a govt bus, he had probably sensed my status and vowed to keep ordinary mortals like me from the tribe that is destined to go to Ram Setu at some point of time. That would probably be 2060 when all ordinary mortals like us would have disappeared and there would be a handful of feudal mindset entities from the Sandwiched State to rule the roost.
As for the guy who couldn't go to Ram Setu the government is scared of the fact that if such guys begin to have an outing then it would bring out in the open to what the authorities want to pursue. Word of mouth by a Bong is enough to unseat the government and unwrap the 'fishing' episodes underway.
i reached RMM late in the evening and after meals hit the bed. The best part being for seven consecutive days there has been no TV and no histrionics. i would root for that.
AS the bus progressed towards Dhanuskodi,16 kms from RMM, i came across big billboards of marriage functions. Featuring couple, they also had pictures of invitees to the function. Probably they don't hand out wedding cards and the limited billboards at vantage points of the city serves their purpose. The bus wasn't choc-a-bloc. But the crowd interesting mix of young,old and very old. The one sitting ahead of me has had this drinking session some time back. The moment a woman who could not trace any other vacant seat sat next to him, he began to give her some therapy lessons. Both in their late 50s. He was more vocal and she an avid listener. The conversation between the two seems to suggest that they were enjoying every moment of the words spoken, glances exchanged and chemistry established. When the therapy lessons ranging from control over mind and desire to sexual compatibility in places of partnership and growth became less therapeutic and more traumatic the lady brought a premature end to her travails by abandoning the bus. The parting shot from her" my man at home gives me similar lessons. You outsider, you don't even stand an outside chance."
The man slighted he too abandons the bus at the next stop, a good 10 kms before he is supposed to get down. Probably the reading among the commuting public was he would try to reach out to the lady at her place of residence and hand out all lessons on wisdom and voyage even though they are past their prime.
When the bus finally halted at Munram Chatiram, Dhanuskodi was a good six kms away. The ramshackle vehicle i boarded, deboarded and finally boarded was the one that hadn't had service for ages and the the driver not replaced for decades. A close resemblance to the one that ferries petty thieves to the court. THe group that was headed for Dhanuskodi agreed to take me after i grudgingly agreed to the fare that looked to be too steep. The vehicle passed through a lot of slush and it took over 40 mins to reach Dhanuskodi. Here there were remnants of a church, railway statio, school and a Shiva temple which were razed to the ground in the cyclone of 1964. No effort had been made to restore the place; and probably none would come in future as well. If that tipsy man on the bus wasn't enough there was this Bong from a different world. Though he had just a lady in company he seemed to speak for the entire group ; for all those who would be boarding the bus and who all need to be left out. At Dhanuskodi he demanded that he would prefer to be washed away to reach Ram Setu if theren't any boats in sight.The Tamil guy thundered: "No sirrrrr, no one can go to Ram Setu. The boats are not there and washing away is highly objectionable."
Hailing from a state, sandwiched bt difficult states of BHAR and JKHND, the man persisted with his desire. Even the likes of Karunanidhi, Maran, Raja, Jaya haven't dared to visit Ram Setu. And he wants this fundamental right of his to be restored.
It was late in the evening and and with no lighting it was better to retreat than progress further. As i reached Munram Chatiram and waited for the govt bus for RMM as the group had already left by a private vehicle, i wondered whether my govt bus was any less than the private one. Because when the Bong heard that i would be taking a govt bus, he had probably sensed my status and vowed to keep ordinary mortals like me from the tribe that is destined to go to Ram Setu at some point of time. That would probably be 2060 when all ordinary mortals like us would have disappeared and there would be a handful of feudal mindset entities from the Sandwiched State to rule the roost.
As for the guy who couldn't go to Ram Setu the government is scared of the fact that if such guys begin to have an outing then it would bring out in the open to what the authorities want to pursue. Word of mouth by a Bong is enough to unseat the government and unwrap the 'fishing' episodes underway.
i reached RMM late in the evening and after meals hit the bed. The best part being for seven consecutive days there has been no TV and no histrionics. i would root for that.
Obama ke options by Puneet Rajhans
Obama ke options
Three weeks ago Obama had this to say. "The US won't settle for a second place when India and China are racing ahead." But is there a vacancy at the top? Not in the near future. It may come 15-20 years down the line. But why raise the spectacle of something that is years and years away. THe intent behind Obamaspeak was to let the underdog have a chance than China and India. Apparently miffed at China getting all the good reviews and palatable nod, the US wants to earn its place of prominence.
Who this underdog could be. On Obama's radar are nation states caught in the vortex of violence and within them few areas willing to branch out. Could it be some from the 12 Commonwealth of Independent States that sprung up from Russia. Could it be a breakaway Chechnya, a unified Kashmir (India Administered Kashmir and Pakistan Occupied Kashmir). Or any nation state away from radar but willing to play spoilsport to the chances of India, China displacing US. A Tibet here or a Taiwan there or even the prospective nation states that are in the kissing distance of being realised ("my men, freedom is round the corner" is the line they continuously take). THe US can't settle to a prospect where China feasts at Washington's prominent slide from one territory after another.
As for Obama's over the counter work managers they have handed a script to Bollywood to churn out stuff for the next 10-15 years which plays up the US dream and punctures the China's optimism as a misplaced one. It would endlessly aim at US the entity to watch out for. All season concessions would be given to producers to shoot at locales that even US producers haven't discovered and all movies would be with subtitles in Hindi and Mandarin. Here his managers are in constant touch with the biggies of Hindi and Southern Cinemas who have belted out hits after hits. Besides the Hollywood would be kept in the loop and collaboration taken as and when the need be.
THe US administration and the ones to follow later would be playing up all those forces that can dismantle the chances of China (China is the immediate threat after it displaced Japan as the second largest economy) to take the first place. An Afghanistan or Iraq (fence sitters and violence torn) could be considered. A quid pro quo could be that we would give you the opportunity to be the BIG PLAYERS (Economy and Military) provided you shun violence. So why not shift the gaze to a piece of territory that has been sandwiched between two Asian Giants and yet to realise its potential. After all this territory has thrown up surprises after surprises for decades. So for all the deals and dates with the military junta, the US could well settle for Pakistan to take the front seat given the level of engagement it has had with the US.
The US has already set in motion the process to let Pakistan deserve the hints of prosperity. New Delhi willing to deal with Islamabad was the first piece of action in that foray. Second, the US would cleverly aim to ratch up international opinion to give a permanent seat to Pakistan in UNSC given its geographical import and how it could scale down the level of violence not just in Afghanistan but also the resentment in the Islam World against the WEST. Along with this the different international bodies would be working in close concert to see that sporting events like ASIAN Games, Commonwealth Games are held in Pakistan. As for OLYMPICS, there is a fair degree of understanding that the OLYMPICS THAT China had probably pole vaulted it to dream about being No 1. No such Olympic outing for an Asian country as it stores the possibility for them to thing BIG. But rules would be relaxed for all-weather friend Pakistan. After all when close to 18 per cent residents in the US believe that Obama is a Muslim and his flip flop on Mosque in New York Trade Centre has finally led to his approval to the project so why not prop up Pak that Russia is also fond of.
AS these permutations and combinations were being discussed, Obama received a call from Secy of State. "Mr President, there is another coup in Pakistan and this time China is backing them." And Obama was upfront: "Ladies and Genleman, i told you this nation is a bowl of surprises. We need to keep engaging them."
As for India, he had this to add: "Same old Democracy and same old elections.The excitement quotient is missing. India could be considered if it could stage some surprises in the Middle Kingdom."
Three weeks ago Obama had this to say. "The US won't settle for a second place when India and China are racing ahead." But is there a vacancy at the top? Not in the near future. It may come 15-20 years down the line. But why raise the spectacle of something that is years and years away. THe intent behind Obamaspeak was to let the underdog have a chance than China and India. Apparently miffed at China getting all the good reviews and palatable nod, the US wants to earn its place of prominence.
Who this underdog could be. On Obama's radar are nation states caught in the vortex of violence and within them few areas willing to branch out. Could it be some from the 12 Commonwealth of Independent States that sprung up from Russia. Could it be a breakaway Chechnya, a unified Kashmir (India Administered Kashmir and Pakistan Occupied Kashmir). Or any nation state away from radar but willing to play spoilsport to the chances of India, China displacing US. A Tibet here or a Taiwan there or even the prospective nation states that are in the kissing distance of being realised ("my men, freedom is round the corner" is the line they continuously take). THe US can't settle to a prospect where China feasts at Washington's prominent slide from one territory after another.
As for Obama's over the counter work managers they have handed a script to Bollywood to churn out stuff for the next 10-15 years which plays up the US dream and punctures the China's optimism as a misplaced one. It would endlessly aim at US the entity to watch out for. All season concessions would be given to producers to shoot at locales that even US producers haven't discovered and all movies would be with subtitles in Hindi and Mandarin. Here his managers are in constant touch with the biggies of Hindi and Southern Cinemas who have belted out hits after hits. Besides the Hollywood would be kept in the loop and collaboration taken as and when the need be.
THe US administration and the ones to follow later would be playing up all those forces that can dismantle the chances of China (China is the immediate threat after it displaced Japan as the second largest economy) to take the first place. An Afghanistan or Iraq (fence sitters and violence torn) could be considered. A quid pro quo could be that we would give you the opportunity to be the BIG PLAYERS (Economy and Military) provided you shun violence. So why not shift the gaze to a piece of territory that has been sandwiched between two Asian Giants and yet to realise its potential. After all this territory has thrown up surprises after surprises for decades. So for all the deals and dates with the military junta, the US could well settle for Pakistan to take the front seat given the level of engagement it has had with the US.
The US has already set in motion the process to let Pakistan deserve the hints of prosperity. New Delhi willing to deal with Islamabad was the first piece of action in that foray. Second, the US would cleverly aim to ratch up international opinion to give a permanent seat to Pakistan in UNSC given its geographical import and how it could scale down the level of violence not just in Afghanistan but also the resentment in the Islam World against the WEST. Along with this the different international bodies would be working in close concert to see that sporting events like ASIAN Games, Commonwealth Games are held in Pakistan. As for OLYMPICS, there is a fair degree of understanding that the OLYMPICS THAT China had probably pole vaulted it to dream about being No 1. No such Olympic outing for an Asian country as it stores the possibility for them to thing BIG. But rules would be relaxed for all-weather friend Pakistan. After all when close to 18 per cent residents in the US believe that Obama is a Muslim and his flip flop on Mosque in New York Trade Centre has finally led to his approval to the project so why not prop up Pak that Russia is also fond of.
AS these permutations and combinations were being discussed, Obama received a call from Secy of State. "Mr President, there is another coup in Pakistan and this time China is backing them." And Obama was upfront: "Ladies and Genleman, i told you this nation is a bowl of surprises. We need to keep engaging them."
As for India, he had this to add: "Same old Democracy and same old elections.The excitement quotient is missing. India could be considered if it could stage some surprises in the Middle Kingdom."
Strap or ship out by Puneet Rajhans
Strap or ship out
As i am told to wait for my turn at the 4th floor of AIIMS for suspected dengue, i am swayed by a board hanging to a wall that simply won't let you wash dirty linen in public. My gaze is fixed to the eight steps to wash and rub hands and how it could be done with clinical precision. High on its content are interfaced, interlocked, palms, dorsum and fingers, enough to let you think you were clever enough to sidestep them for years together. I am trying to memorise those steps as the sister walks past me now and then. She brings a new patient every time the other one goes inside for clinical interrogation. The last lap of this rigmarole has not been discovered yet. As moments pass, i vacate the chair every time an elderly walks in. How elderly he or she is or the frail looks just meant to get the seat they aspire for during a wait that could turn minutes into hrs. A young girl comes in and sits next to me; her gaze fixed towards mine and mine towards the eight-step board. I can't let anyone cry foul that this lad had enough time to memorise those eight steps and yet he gave it a miss. It is more than one hr and all those who came before and after me have had their interrogation sessions with the doc. Probably the doc inside wants to carry out a more detailed investigation on me. So he is looking for that extra time when chips are down and patients are none. THen i see a man sporting a strap round his neck with a cell in his front pocket. The strap has AIIMS written all over it. i ask the same familiar question of him being from AIIMS. THe man is in no mood to oblige and my gaze again turns towards the board. Why he was not obliging? Perhaps he had better things to do than gaze at the board and learn and unlearn the steps to wash and rub hands.
Probably by now others who are keeping a watch on me are of the view that i would have rehearsed the board lines so well that it would be at the back of my mind. But now my focus shifts to other straps doing the rounds of the city, having spotted the AIIMS one. If this guy could have the AIIMS strap, there could be one inscribed with Delhi police enough to send shivers down the spine of city residents. A strap proclaiming the Police of India would be feared by the place he/she visits. Perhaps a strap on Tihar Jail would be equally feared.
THese straps give them enough power to strip anyone in full public glare . What could stop them in their tracks could be the spotting of someone with media/press strap in the vicinity. THese straps not only tell you about the identity of the person wearing them but also the prime positioning he/she has. Mind you, these straps have the power to displace the UID scheme of Nilekeni as it would be a more prominent identity marker with less budget outlay.
As for the souls like us we could have straps announcing our aam admi lineage. But most of these straps are meant for those having cell possession or an identity in the society that would be feared by others. How could you have a strap round your neck if your distaste for a cell is as strong as your desire to hold no office of profit or loss in the society!
Post clinical interrogation i am told to not make another outing another season unless i strap with my status in society. And this gives me more fodder to strap around. Straps are meant to store vital details about the man on the move.
In all discourses, discussions/events, the invitees have a strap round the neck revealing the identity of the person. How about Obama with a strap clearly defining his identity and landing in Timbuktu. A strap or no strap the host would be least interested in showing allegiance to a man who hasn't cared to mention about Timbuktu in his less-than-preserved Press Briefings. Perhaps a strap for a woman whom he wants to woo in Timbuktu would give him a fair chance to have a Timbuktu tryst.
As for his tryst with Pakistan, he needs to strap himself with all the message on goodies of Pak. A name here and there of charming faces of Pak would cheer the host and he could well be in the company of Kayani,Gilani and Zardari with a night jiski subah nahi
As for likes of us who don't want to reveal and reverberate? Chances are if you don't strap enough you would be stripped to be left with nothing to reveal.
As i am told to wait for my turn at the 4th floor of AIIMS for suspected dengue, i am swayed by a board hanging to a wall that simply won't let you wash dirty linen in public. My gaze is fixed to the eight steps to wash and rub hands and how it could be done with clinical precision. High on its content are interfaced, interlocked, palms, dorsum and fingers, enough to let you think you were clever enough to sidestep them for years together. I am trying to memorise those steps as the sister walks past me now and then. She brings a new patient every time the other one goes inside for clinical interrogation. The last lap of this rigmarole has not been discovered yet. As moments pass, i vacate the chair every time an elderly walks in. How elderly he or she is or the frail looks just meant to get the seat they aspire for during a wait that could turn minutes into hrs. A young girl comes in and sits next to me; her gaze fixed towards mine and mine towards the eight-step board. I can't let anyone cry foul that this lad had enough time to memorise those eight steps and yet he gave it a miss. It is more than one hr and all those who came before and after me have had their interrogation sessions with the doc. Probably the doc inside wants to carry out a more detailed investigation on me. So he is looking for that extra time when chips are down and patients are none. THen i see a man sporting a strap round his neck with a cell in his front pocket. The strap has AIIMS written all over it. i ask the same familiar question of him being from AIIMS. THe man is in no mood to oblige and my gaze again turns towards the board. Why he was not obliging? Perhaps he had better things to do than gaze at the board and learn and unlearn the steps to wash and rub hands.
Probably by now others who are keeping a watch on me are of the view that i would have rehearsed the board lines so well that it would be at the back of my mind. But now my focus shifts to other straps doing the rounds of the city, having spotted the AIIMS one. If this guy could have the AIIMS strap, there could be one inscribed with Delhi police enough to send shivers down the spine of city residents. A strap proclaiming the Police of India would be feared by the place he/she visits. Perhaps a strap on Tihar Jail would be equally feared.
THese straps give them enough power to strip anyone in full public glare . What could stop them in their tracks could be the spotting of someone with media/press strap in the vicinity. THese straps not only tell you about the identity of the person wearing them but also the prime positioning he/she has. Mind you, these straps have the power to displace the UID scheme of Nilekeni as it would be a more prominent identity marker with less budget outlay.
As for the souls like us we could have straps announcing our aam admi lineage. But most of these straps are meant for those having cell possession or an identity in the society that would be feared by others. How could you have a strap round your neck if your distaste for a cell is as strong as your desire to hold no office of profit or loss in the society!
Post clinical interrogation i am told to not make another outing another season unless i strap with my status in society. And this gives me more fodder to strap around. Straps are meant to store vital details about the man on the move.
In all discourses, discussions/events, the invitees have a strap round the neck revealing the identity of the person. How about Obama with a strap clearly defining his identity and landing in Timbuktu. A strap or no strap the host would be least interested in showing allegiance to a man who hasn't cared to mention about Timbuktu in his less-than-preserved Press Briefings. Perhaps a strap for a woman whom he wants to woo in Timbuktu would give him a fair chance to have a Timbuktu tryst.
As for his tryst with Pakistan, he needs to strap himself with all the message on goodies of Pak. A name here and there of charming faces of Pak would cheer the host and he could well be in the company of Kayani,Gilani and Zardari with a night jiski subah nahi
As for likes of us who don't want to reveal and reverberate? Chances are if you don't strap enough you would be stripped to be left with nothing to reveal.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Of Obama and outstanding issues by Puneet Rajhans
Of Obama and outstanding issues
THe Obama administration has decided to withdraw tax breaks to companies that outsource jobs, research and innovation to other countries. THe heap of abuse that he would be courting from outsourced destinations would be a case of straying. The issue to be probed at length is why he is stepping on the gas when his visit to the subcontinent is less than two months away. The answer lies in the dilemma he faced while getting the content for his address to the joint houses of Parliament which would probably happen on Nov 9 if no other untoward incident(anti-outsourcing jibe being one of them) takes place between now and then. He didn't want the address to be customary like touching on ups and downs of India-US ties; the Changing equations between China and India or between India and Pak or more appropriately between China and Pak. He didn't even want to touch on China-India trade impetus or displacement of US as the largest trading partner of India. Not even on the level of illegal trade that comes from China to India via Pak, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal.
He wanted his address to be preceded by a question hour session with INdian lawmakers. The question hour in both houses is the time when he gives his sleep and family the much-flaunted miss. The feeding material that he gets for his address from the blanket and yet not visible ban on outsourcing in the state of Ohio to be followed by other states of US of A would be enough. He would be pilloried and booted for encouraging states after states from desisting from outsourcing to nation states like India. Once he has been heckled long enough to illustrate the heckling that his predecessor George Bush faced at the hands of different lobbies and groups, he would have set the tempo for his address to begin. He would urge Indian lawmakers to explore new territories from where the outsourcing business could be gained. Probably nation states like Nepal Bangladesh and Pak would be on his mind as he has a deep desire for US' ties to improve with these three countries. He would further ask the MPs to explore new ideas and partnerships with these three countries (Jewel in the Crown and not Tiny Viruses is how he would like them to be seen) which are on the verge of gaining new ground. The query could well be why these three nations.
"China", my dear friend. China has made deep inroads into these three nations while you people were squabbling about Women's reservation bill, enemy property bill and mp hike and slash bill. You need to court these countries if you don't want to be bombed to a stone age. As very soon these countries would have nuclear arsenal that would put you to shame. Again courtesy China.
My outspoken views on outsourcing is meant to see that you take outsourcing business from them and thereby mend your ways on dealing with neighbours who all are diehard supporters of Chinese regime. Once you take your level of engagement to a new level by getting outsourcing business from them you could well have a strong positioning vis-a-vis China.
As the deed has been done in Ohio to be followed in other states, the one issue that Obama won't touch is the hidden agenda behind his outsourcing idea. He may may well see Indian lawmakers being outspoken on this subject but by taking this anti outsourcing line he would have manufactured enough supporters for himself in at least Pakistan which he intends to visit soon. THe dates would be decided in deep consultations with Chinese officials.
As for his dates and stay in India, it could only be finalised when he gave a word to China that precisely two months before his visit he would drop the outsourcing bombshell. So even in India the Chinese Dragon would be on his mind and the Chinese politicos on the line where the new bombshell to come from his stable would be like this: "In the name of humanity and for durable peace in South Asia i would like to stress on China taking the mediatory role on all outstanding issues concerning India and Pakistan. Once China bid fails then i would take over. Mind you, we want to take engagement with you to a level never seen before."
THe Obama administration has decided to withdraw tax breaks to companies that outsource jobs, research and innovation to other countries. THe heap of abuse that he would be courting from outsourced destinations would be a case of straying. The issue to be probed at length is why he is stepping on the gas when his visit to the subcontinent is less than two months away. The answer lies in the dilemma he faced while getting the content for his address to the joint houses of Parliament which would probably happen on Nov 9 if no other untoward incident(anti-outsourcing jibe being one of them) takes place between now and then. He didn't want the address to be customary like touching on ups and downs of India-US ties; the Changing equations between China and India or between India and Pak or more appropriately between China and Pak. He didn't even want to touch on China-India trade impetus or displacement of US as the largest trading partner of India. Not even on the level of illegal trade that comes from China to India via Pak, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Nepal.
He wanted his address to be preceded by a question hour session with INdian lawmakers. The question hour in both houses is the time when he gives his sleep and family the much-flaunted miss. The feeding material that he gets for his address from the blanket and yet not visible ban on outsourcing in the state of Ohio to be followed by other states of US of A would be enough. He would be pilloried and booted for encouraging states after states from desisting from outsourcing to nation states like India. Once he has been heckled long enough to illustrate the heckling that his predecessor George Bush faced at the hands of different lobbies and groups, he would have set the tempo for his address to begin. He would urge Indian lawmakers to explore new territories from where the outsourcing business could be gained. Probably nation states like Nepal Bangladesh and Pak would be on his mind as he has a deep desire for US' ties to improve with these three countries. He would further ask the MPs to explore new ideas and partnerships with these three countries (Jewel in the Crown and not Tiny Viruses is how he would like them to be seen) which are on the verge of gaining new ground. The query could well be why these three nations.
"China", my dear friend. China has made deep inroads into these three nations while you people were squabbling about Women's reservation bill, enemy property bill and mp hike and slash bill. You need to court these countries if you don't want to be bombed to a stone age. As very soon these countries would have nuclear arsenal that would put you to shame. Again courtesy China.
My outspoken views on outsourcing is meant to see that you take outsourcing business from them and thereby mend your ways on dealing with neighbours who all are diehard supporters of Chinese regime. Once you take your level of engagement to a new level by getting outsourcing business from them you could well have a strong positioning vis-a-vis China.
As the deed has been done in Ohio to be followed in other states, the one issue that Obama won't touch is the hidden agenda behind his outsourcing idea. He may may well see Indian lawmakers being outspoken on this subject but by taking this anti outsourcing line he would have manufactured enough supporters for himself in at least Pakistan which he intends to visit soon. THe dates would be decided in deep consultations with Chinese officials.
As for his dates and stay in India, it could only be finalised when he gave a word to China that precisely two months before his visit he would drop the outsourcing bombshell. So even in India the Chinese Dragon would be on his mind and the Chinese politicos on the line where the new bombshell to come from his stable would be like this: "In the name of humanity and for durable peace in South Asia i would like to stress on China taking the mediatory role on all outstanding issues concerning India and Pakistan. Once China bid fails then i would take over. Mind you, we want to take engagement with you to a level never seen before."
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Manmohan ki jaban se by Puneet Rajhans
Manmohan ki jaban se
It was a tete-a-tete with Editors that saw Manmohan speak for hours together. He spoke at length and at a wavelength that was entirely in congruence with what the past present and prospective editors wanted to hear. Baffling the prime movers from Janpath to Tughlaq Lane and the entire nation at large was essentially the urgency for him to address the nation when he had spoken to the world at large barely three weeks ago from the ramparts of Red Fort.
Some summed it like this: "In his second term he doesn't want to prolong the agony of the common man by declaring his intent that he is ever ready for a prospective third and fourth terms even if he is being lapped by a majority."
Precisely he wanted to set the record straight that he wasn't attempting a record term in office given the unopposed election of BIG G for a record fourth term. If his speil on governance at the Red Fort address had been lost out in the hype and hoopla of G's record outing so be it. He thundered: "My dear countrymen, i am not seeking a record of sorts here . DEspite the fireworks at the Cabinet meetings presided over by me, the Cabinet of MINE is the best to date. It is more cohesive than the past and distant past dispensations including that of JLN."
"I want to make it abundantly clear that we don't throttle the voices of Cabinet colleagues, essentially the voice of aam janata. When they speak they speak for the common man who has lost sense of upcoming power centres setting record of sorts."
When my colleagues come for cabinet meeting , fresh from the dose of centre fresh(Jaban par lagaam de) they are given the much-desired opportunity to speak. And when they speak they spar and spew venom of uncontrolled nature. That shows the freedom they exercise and the different constituents they speak for. As Road Minister Kamal Nath and Aviation MInister Patel take potshots at Green Minister Jairam Ramesh, the latter seeks redemption by stressing on Vedanta Voyage and how it has been hailed by big and upcoming bossess of JP and Tughlaq Lane.
Then there are others who have been lobbying for one business house or the other. They take potshots at each other and want the relevant files to be cleared ASAP. I urge them to be a patient commodity as patience would see them prolong their stay in office and thereby pile on the agony of the janata. As dust settles and colleagues have had their share of litany of plaints to be shared with i urge them to raise their voices to a new pitch at every durbar including that of BIG G as they were party to uncontrolled celebrations over her unopposed feat.
By talking about his reluctance to step on the gas on completing record days in office the PM wanted to clear the air ever since reports started coming in on his clocking record days in office. Asked repeatedly about his take on record terms in office, he said his Cab Colleagues would be given full freedom to take this up in the next meeting where all those who have attempted and achieved record terms under their belt in party, govt and admninistration would be taken to task in full public glare as for the first time he would set a record of sorts where Cab meetings would be televised live. Asked whether his Cab Colleagues would oblige him. With no centre fresh around they would be more willing to bare their heart.
As PM was about to leave the scribes wanted to know from him on how the AAM JANATA can reach him. "I have a toll free no 1800 180 38 37 36. The public can reach me here. I would speak on all issues including the record no of pills (contraceptives included) doing the rounds of cities and towns, the endless screaming TV debates that sees half of our countrymen go without sleep for months together and the face off among political adversaries that leads to a deal that is yet to be signed, sealed and delivered."
It was a tete-a-tete with Editors that saw Manmohan speak for hours together. He spoke at length and at a wavelength that was entirely in congruence with what the past present and prospective editors wanted to hear. Baffling the prime movers from Janpath to Tughlaq Lane and the entire nation at large was essentially the urgency for him to address the nation when he had spoken to the world at large barely three weeks ago from the ramparts of Red Fort.
Some summed it like this: "In his second term he doesn't want to prolong the agony of the common man by declaring his intent that he is ever ready for a prospective third and fourth terms even if he is being lapped by a majority."
Precisely he wanted to set the record straight that he wasn't attempting a record term in office given the unopposed election of BIG G for a record fourth term. If his speil on governance at the Red Fort address had been lost out in the hype and hoopla of G's record outing so be it. He thundered: "My dear countrymen, i am not seeking a record of sorts here . DEspite the fireworks at the Cabinet meetings presided over by me, the Cabinet of MINE is the best to date. It is more cohesive than the past and distant past dispensations including that of JLN."
"I want to make it abundantly clear that we don't throttle the voices of Cabinet colleagues, essentially the voice of aam janata. When they speak they speak for the common man who has lost sense of upcoming power centres setting record of sorts."
When my colleagues come for cabinet meeting , fresh from the dose of centre fresh(Jaban par lagaam de) they are given the much-desired opportunity to speak. And when they speak they spar and spew venom of uncontrolled nature. That shows the freedom they exercise and the different constituents they speak for. As Road Minister Kamal Nath and Aviation MInister Patel take potshots at Green Minister Jairam Ramesh, the latter seeks redemption by stressing on Vedanta Voyage and how it has been hailed by big and upcoming bossess of JP and Tughlaq Lane.
Then there are others who have been lobbying for one business house or the other. They take potshots at each other and want the relevant files to be cleared ASAP. I urge them to be a patient commodity as patience would see them prolong their stay in office and thereby pile on the agony of the janata. As dust settles and colleagues have had their share of litany of plaints to be shared with i urge them to raise their voices to a new pitch at every durbar including that of BIG G as they were party to uncontrolled celebrations over her unopposed feat.
By talking about his reluctance to step on the gas on completing record days in office the PM wanted to clear the air ever since reports started coming in on his clocking record days in office. Asked repeatedly about his take on record terms in office, he said his Cab Colleagues would be given full freedom to take this up in the next meeting where all those who have attempted and achieved record terms under their belt in party, govt and admninistration would be taken to task in full public glare as for the first time he would set a record of sorts where Cab meetings would be televised live. Asked whether his Cab Colleagues would oblige him. With no centre fresh around they would be more willing to bare their heart.
As PM was about to leave the scribes wanted to know from him on how the AAM JANATA can reach him. "I have a toll free no 1800 180 38 37 36. The public can reach me here. I would speak on all issues including the record no of pills (contraceptives included) doing the rounds of cities and towns, the endless screaming TV debates that sees half of our countrymen go without sleep for months together and the face off among political adversaries that leads to a deal that is yet to be signed, sealed and delivered."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)